1. The person you most want to talk this through with… is the exact person you can’t talk to. During any romantic break ups, the two of you had a system. The non-brokenhearted one would go on a wine run. You’d watch horrible movies and television in between long talks about why you and Drew broke up and what’s next in your life. When you break up with your friend, you know that the one person that can make you feel better in the worst of circumstances isn’t going to be there. And that just breaks you a little bit more.
2. It’s a lot harder to explain to people why you aren’t together all the time anymore. When romantic relationships end, it’s easy. You switch a status on Facebook, post a photo of yourself looking great, and people get it. If they ask for details, there are countless clichés you can resort to. We just wanted different things. We just weren’t right for each other. When you’re suddenly without the friend that used to go everywhere with you, everyone has to know why. And that’s pretty much the last thing you want to think about, unless you’re fine unravelling the tangled mess that used to be your friendship.
3. The future just sort of looks like this ambiguous blur. They were your ride-or-die. The one person you were sure would be on that front porch with you when you turn 85. And now they’re not. The North Star that gave you the confidence to move fearlessly forward has blinked out, and you’re lost and unsure if you even want to continue in the same direction as before.
4. You’re losing a part of yourself. When the two of you were together, no one could compare. You brought out the very best and the absolute worst in each other, and You could be yourself in a way that you couldn’t be with anyone else. And now that they’re gone, is that part of you gone as well? Will you ever feel comfortable enough with someone else to do your horrible Bob Dylan impression again? And then moments later, lay bare your deepest insecurities without fear of judgement? You won’t know for sure until that new person enters your life, and in the meantime, it’s terrifying.
5. Losing your mutual friends stings more than you anticipated. If all of your mutual friends side with your friend, who do you have? Who can you talk to? Your life already has a gaping hole in it, and now the entire thing just feels hollow.
6. Making new friends is infinitely harder than rebounding. You can’t just sit at the nearest bar and go home with the first person who buys you a drink. You can’t bitterly swipe through Tinder. You have to join a pottery class, you have to meet people with the hope that you strike gold. That you can find someone that understands you the way your friend used to. And really, that’s the thing that you can’t get over. Your friend used to understand you. And then they changed. And you changed. You both adapted with Life, and it led you in different directions. So you look for someone heading in the same direction as you, and hope that maybe one day you’ll be able to grab coffee with your old friend and laugh about the great days you once had.