1. I can’t believe my friend isn’t here yet. She promised.
2. I’m going to kill her when I see her.
3. You know what? No. I can handle this. I’m a grown up.
4. Go talk to that person. Go on.
6. Seriously. Move your feet.
7. Oh look, they’re talking to someone else now. Don’t want to interrupt.
8. Refill your drink, look like you’re having a good time.
9. Just blend into the wall. No one will see you.
10. I wonder how long I can get away with looking at my phone before people notice I’m scrolling through the same stuff over and over again?
11. I’m going to throw my friend out a window when they finally arrive.
12. Omg is that a cat?! THANK GOD. Brb, playing with this cat for the next 12 hours or until my friend gets here.
13. Uh oh, just made eye contact with a stranger.
14. Do something, look busy!
15. OH WOW THIS CUP IS FASCINATING. WHAT AN INTERESTING COLOR AND SHAPE!
16. Oh god, no. Please don’t come talk to me. Please no.
17. No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
18. Why are you walking over to meeeeeeeee why are you trying to be a nice person??? STOP IT.
19. Is there enough time for me to slip away to the bathroom? NOPE. THEY’RE HERE. DAMNIT.
20. Is Death-by-Small-Talk a thing? Because I think that might be how I go.
21. Okay. Pull yourself together. You’ve got this.
22. I think I might have a panic attack but also I’m having fun?
23. Parties are weird.