1. You insist on meeting this stranger. And SOON. You need eyeballs on them ASAP in order to determine if they’re good enough for your best friend.
2. You get steadily more annoying the longer your friend puts off introducing you to their special friend. UHHHHH EXCUSE ME, IT’S BEEN A MONTH. EITHER YOU INTRODUCE ME OR I’LL JUST HAPPEN TO RUN INTO YOU TWO WHEN YOU’RE OUT TOMORROW NIGHT. (It’s really not a huge surprise that your best friend is hesitant to introduce you.)
3. You’re always down to social media stalk this stranger with your friend, because you really want to love this person and will absolutely need to judge their social media in order to know if love is possible. But the reality is, do you know this person at all in real life? No. Is it a little creepy? Yeah. Is it absolutely necessary? YEP.
4. (You might even check in on this person when your friend isn’t around too, tbh. But they don’t need to know that.)
5. You start exhibiting signs that you’re turning into your mother by spreading the guilt on REAL THICK when your friend still hasn’t introduced you. It’s fine. I get it. You don’t want to introduce me to them because you’re EMBARRASSED by me. I’m just a BURDEN on you. DON’T BOTHER, I’LL BE FINE.
6. Whenever you friend’s texting while around you, you spring to attention and NEED ALL THE INFORMATION. Is that Jordan?? What are they saying? How’s their spelling?? Emoji choice??? TELL ME NOW.
7. When your friend finally decides that you can meet this mysterious suitor, you meticulously plan out the type of first impression you’re going to make. Silent and intimidating? Cool and laid back? Fun and exciting? There are so many options, you need to make sure you get it just right so they know where they stand.
8. …And of course when the day comes, you end up just being yourself with a side of nerves because there is so much riding on this meet-up! If the two of you don’t click on some level, everything is going to be so awkward.
9. If the person is nice and gets along with the two of you together (because let’s be honest, your friend is great, but when the two of you are around each other it can get kind of intimidating to an outsider), then you LOVE them. They’re one of the gang!
10. …HOWEVER. If there is any doubt in your mind about this person, you pretty much hate them. They’re like that can of olives that’s been in your cabinet for as long as you can remember. They’re probably okay, but you don’t trust them. Nope. You’ve got a bad feeling, and it’s going to take a whole hell of a lot to change your mind.
11. If the person’s great, your mood matches your friend’s elation. It gets to the point where people would probably think that you’re the one dating this new person, because you’re always going on about how great this person is and you’re just sooo happy for your friend.
12. When your friend goes off on a date, you’re waiting by the door or phone for her to come back and tell you EVERYTHING.
13. …In fact, you’re not above peeking out the window and watching them bid adieu to your friend.
14. You get weirdly territorial when all three of you are together, because obviously the number one relationship should be you and your BFF and WHAT IS THIS INSIDE JOKE AND WHY AM I NOT IN ON IT.
15. Basically, you start to embrace the jealousy, because it’s pretty natural for you to be peeved that you have to share your best friend now. Even if the other person is cool. You found her first. You have dibs, dammit.
16. When you see that things might be heading in a serious direction, you don’t care if the person is the Devil Incarnate or Gandhi. You will threaten to maim all body parts that they hold dear to them if they hurt your best friend.
17. Ultimately you just want to make sure that your best friend is happy, but you need to make sure that the person that they choose is perfect for them. After all, this new person may be your best friend’s romantic partner, but you’re her life partner, and that comes with a lot of responsibility.