1. Lust At First Sight
You stand in the tortuously long line, and then you see them. Behind the counter. Wearing a sexy little apron, and you can’t help yourself: you’re smitten already.
2. The Build Up
The line inches closer and closer, and with each half-step shuffle towards the counter, your heart’s doing back flips. You panic a little because you don’t even know what you’re ordering, but you can’t look away from them, and what if they judge you for your order and hate you forever OH GOD.
3. AWKWARD STOP AND CHAT
It’s your turn to order and they’re looking at you with those beautiful eyes, and you can barely utter a coherent sentence. They somehow decode your alien speak and place your order, and you try to be smooth and clever by asking how their day’s going. It proceeds to be this horrifying excuse for a conversation:
AWKWARD YOU: So how’s your day been?
LOVE OF YOUR LIFE: Pretty good, and you?
YOU AKA THE PERSON THAT NEEDS TO JUMP OFF A CLIFF ALREADY: So far, so good! You?
BARISTA AKA THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY: …… Pretty good?
4. Realization That You’re Going To Die Alone
Whelp. You slink off to the pick up counter and replay the last five minutes of your life, contemplating how you’re going to break the news to your mom that she’s never going to have grandchildren.
5. Hope Renewed!
You grab your drink, thank the barista that made it, and right as you’re walking away, your soulmate calls out, “Have a nice day!” Your heart swells and everything is right in the world! You mumble-shout a “ASINOFVID-THANKS!” and detour to a table where you can sit and have a wonderful view of them at the counter.
6. Creepy Semi-Stalking
You casually stare at them over your latte, imagining what your kids might look like. In fact, you pull out your phone and attempt to find them on Facebook. You must know every aspect of their life! Although, you should have known that searching for an “Alex” on Facebook would be basically impossible.
7. Casually Courting Them
You decide that you seriously need a coffee every day at the exact time they’re working, and each time you show up you just happen to be wearing your best clothes and your hair is PERFECT. You attempt to be actually charming rather than that train wreck of a conversation that happened on that first day.
8. ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: They Know Your Name!
YES. FINALLY. You walked up to the counter, and they knew your order and wrote your name on the cup without asking! This is the day you’ll tell your grandkids about! (Let’s forget that it’s actually a barista’s job to get to know their customer’s names and orders–THAT’S NOT IMPORTANT.)
9. Unwarranted Jealousy
You come back the next day ready to propose marriage, and you see them chatting with some other customer. The other customer knows Your Love’s name and asks how their classes are going. They reply and give the customer that smile that you thought was reserved for you. You feel betrayed. You don’t go back for coffee for three whole days.
10. Forgiveness & Heartbreak
After weeks of daily coffee, you realize that you might be a bit addicted and actually need to go back. Plus, you miss your coffee bae. However, while in line, you overhear them chatting with a coworker about how they went to the movies with their gf/bf. Your heart breaks into a million tiny pieces, and you’re not sure how you can go on. You get your coffee and head home while blasting Adele. NEVER MIND I’LL FIND, SOMEONE LIKE YOUUUUUUU
11. Moving on
Within a week, you’ve pretty much moved past that little crush you had. You see them behind the counter, and everything is okay. You’re friends. Plus, they just hired this new barista, and they’re CUTE.