Ignoring the fact that he’s happily married, Paul Rudd is probably the worst person you could possibly date for an abundance of reasons.
1. You could drown in his eyes, which is very dangerous and not healthy for a relationship.
2. Seriously, brb drowning.
3. Blub blub blub.
4. He’s always hogging prime book-reading real estate.
5. He leaves his clothes just hanging everywhere.
6. Seriously, BOXERS IN THE LAUNDRY BASKET PLEASE.
7. And then when you get mad at him, he just makes this face and it’s impossible to be mad at him.
8. He’s always posing on the ladder RIGHT when you need it.
9. He’s constantly using up all the rubbing alcohol.
10. He looks so angelic in black and white that you might think he actually died.
11. Alive or angel?? WE MIGHT NEVER KNOW.
12. He looks so good in a comfy sweater that you don’t want to borrow it when it’s chilly, because you just want to gaze at him in it forever.
13. He’s constantly making you jealous of microphones.
14. I hate you, microphone.
15. He’s always trying to squish your head.
16. He refuses to share his umbrella.
17. He’s always trying to mess up photos by looking away.
18. Or by sticking his tongue out.
19. His knitting skills are shameful.
20. He doesn’t know how to age like a cheap wine/normal human (Like, look at him 20 years ago).
21. STOP AGING LIKE THE FINEST OF WINES, PAUL. IT’S NOT FAIR.