1. You have no one else to blame for the shameful stack of dishes in your sink.
2. …And then you have to do them all by yourself, with no one to complain to except your cat and/or your BFF, the microwave.
3. You need to be your own hero when you hear a creepy sound in the middle of the night.
4. Talking to yourself makes you feel like a crazy person, but if you don’t do it, you’ll probably forget what words are.
5. Ikea is out to get you. Assembly requires two people? CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Fast-forward five hours: you’re a broken human being, but that entertainment center looks halfway decent.
6. There’s no one to guard the living room from intruders while you’re in the shower, so every time you step out of the bathroom is basically the start of any horror film.
7. The person that used up the last of the milk and didn’t get more was YOU, and the only way to get more is for you to actually put on pants and go outside.
8. When you lock yourself out, there’s really nothing you can do except bang on the door and hope your cat is feeling helpful today.
9. The temptation to stay inside all weekend and never shower is REAL.
10. Whenever a spider decides to waltz its eight legs out into the open, you have to take care of that all by yourself or welcome Mr. Spidey into the family.
11. If someone knocks on your door, there’s no roommate to guilt into opening it for you while you creepily peek out of your room at the probably-nice cable guy.
12. Only one person is going to take out your trash: you. So if you insist on stacking the garbage until the bin literally can’t hold anything more, you’re only hurting yourself.
13. The idea of dying in a freak accident in your apartment and not being discovered for a week when the smell reaches your neighbors apartment crosses your mind daily.
14. …It’s also 90% of the reason why you text your friends regularly. If you stop responding suddenly, they’ll know to come look for you, right?
15. When you’re sick, you have to take care of yourself. Make the soup. Venture outside to buy Nyquil and Gatorade. If you don’t, you’ll probably die of starvation and that DGAF attitude, leaving you to be discovered a week later by your neighbor’s dog.