1. It’s not that you don’t like the occasional ounce of drama. You do in fact enjoy indulging in Shonda Rhimes programming or juicy gossip, but the moment the dramatics start having direct influence on your life…. Ugh. No thank you, please.
2. When two friends are in an argument, you would much rather crawl in a hole and hibernate until they’ve worked things out, because you love both of them and don’t want to be mad at either!
3. When you do get involved in some sort of drama, it’s the worst thing ever, and you just want it to be over. Please. Stop the madness. Can’t we all just be friends?
4. You love being there for your friends, and if they ever need your help or advice, you will show up 11 times out of 10, buuuuuuuuut you can only hear about the same on-again-off-again relationship so many times before you’re just tired.
5. And then after a while your advice gets really general and vague because you said everything you wanted to say about this relationship ages ago. I’ll say I hate them, but you’re going to love them again tomorrow, so what’s the point? Let’s go bowling or something instead.
6. You’re often the middleman whenever two friends or family members are fighting, because you just naturally want to diffuse the situation. CAN’T WE ALL JUST BE HAPPY AND FRIENDS PLS??
7. Your first piece of advice is always, “Pick your battles,” because do we reallllllly want to make a huge deal about this? Is it worth it? What are we accomplishing by fighting?
8. You can sense high-drama people from a mile away, and see them as more of a spectacle sport, not as someone you want to get involved with in any way.
9. You’re always giving people second… and third… and fourth chances, because confronting them about their chronic lateness isn’t worth all the potential drama.
10. When you do decide that you need to bring up a problem with someone, you plan ahead and talk with the person in a contained environment, where you can duke it out and settle things, rather than prolong the drama for weeks, involving everyone and their extended families.
11. However, if you have a casual friend that’s burned through all the “benefit of the doubt” excuses you allocated for them, you’re not afraid to just cut that person out of your life, and avoid extra drama with that person you only kind of like.
12. The idea of “making a scene” is absolutely horrifying to you.
13. You’re the most calm drunk person of all your friends, because you’ve basically engrained it in your DNA that TONIGHT IS NOT THE NIGHT WE MAKE A RUCKUS PEOPLE, LET’S JUST HAVE FUN AND THEN GO HOME.
14. You have that one other low-drama friend that you can vent everything to because you both know that the other person isn’t going to blab and create drama, because they hate it just as much as you do.