1. You shall nurse each other back to health, even when it puts you at risk of sickness.
And then they shall return the favor, and must tolerate all complaints that they got you sick.
2. You shall support all of their white lies.
Even if it doesn’t seem important, the answer is always: yes, you were with them when they had food poisoning and they couldn’t go to the company picnic.
3. You shall cyber stalk/check-in on their ex so they don’t have to.
You shall tell them how unhappy their ex looks, regardless of how happy they actually are.
4. You shall pretend to like their boyfriend/girlfriend whenever they’re around, no matter how much you hate them.
You shall not be the wet blanket ruining all of the fun.
5. You shall write the best speech for their wedding, that no one will be able to rival.
Even if they don’t get married, you shall have a speech on standby.
6. You shall let one another borrow each other’s clothes, within reason.
If your friend hasn’t worn it yet, it’s off limits until they do.
7. You shall take their phone when they’re within drunk-texting-their-ex drunkenness.
And when you take it, you shall not take any of their drunken insults personally.
8. You shall always tell them when they need to change clothes.
But no matter how horrible it looks on them, you shall say it nicely, and then secretly burn the clothes later.
9. You shall go to all family functions with them, and be the perfect date.
You shall talk up all of their accomplishments, and tolerate the drunk uncle that has taken an interest in you.
10. You shall always be there when they need to talk.
Even if you’ve heard talked about their ex a million and a half times, you’ll still sit down to listen one more time.