1. Your first language is sarcasm.

2. This is you at your job most days:

3. You’re never more miserable than when someone forces you to look happy and cheerful.

4. Whenever your day is going surprisingly not horrible, you know something bad is just bound to happen.

5. Your ideal day looks something like this:

6. When you get home from work, the only thing you’re looking forward to is sleep.

7. And even that’s not as exciting as you had hoped it would be.

8. People are finally getting the hint to stop asking you questions, because they pretty much know the answer.

9. Whenever you overhear youths speaking, you can actually feel your IQ drop.

10. Your excited face looks something like this:

11. You’re pretty open about your unhappiness, because at this point, whatever.

12. Your job often makes you seek any form of respite you can possibly get your hands on.

13. Most days, your biggest regret is this:

14. You’re pretty sure your expectations are as low as they can go, but then you’re surprised that they can in fact be lowered.

15. You have zero tolerance for overdone displays of affection, and can’t stand super cheesy romantic movies.

16. Every work day generally ends like this:

17. Talking on the phone is your worst nightmare, especially early in the morning.

18. Your outlook on your love life is super, uhhh we’ll say “realistic.”

19. You dream of the day when you literally don’t have to listen to other people’s chatter.

20. And yeah, yeah, yeah, you know that your happiness in life is due in large part to your outlook…

21. But you’re actually kind of happy in your misery.

Because deep down, you know that you’re ~*awesome.*~