21 Signs You’re A Senior Citizen Stuck In A Youth’s Body

New Girl
New Girl

1. Whenever new technology comes out, your first reaction is “What was wrong with the old stuff?” which is quickly followed by, “how in the gosh dang h-e-double-hockey-sticks am I supposed to use this?”

2. Your friends always need to explain the newest slang, because honestly, when did “on fleek” become a thing, and what was wrong with “the bee’s knees”?

3. Casual dating is your worst nightmare. What happened to the good old days of mild flirting and then going steady? What’s all of this “talking” nonsense?

4. Whenever you see people (who are probably your age) doing anything remotely foolish, you just shake your head and lament, “youths.”

5. Moderately loud music actively infuriates you.

6. You often find yourself reminiscing on “the good old days,” even though “the good old days” were when Bop It Extreme was the hot toy and there were only two Fast and the Furious movies.

7. In your spare time, you’re more likely to listen to Motown than anything on the Billboard Top 100.

8. The idea of going out on a Friday night sounds much less appealing than a quiet night in with a movie and your knitting.

9. Antiques Roadshow is your jam.

10. You love to spend a morning sitting in a Denny’s drinking black coffee way more than you probably should.

11. A heavy night of drinking for you is a glass of wine with dinner and another during your after dinner TV time.

12. You’ve caught yourself getting unreasonably riled up over a Judge Judy case.

13. When people ask about your celebrity crushes, your list consists of Cary Grant, Sidney Poitier, Katharine Hepburn, and Julie Andrews.

14. You’ve looked into the cost of installing a stair chair lift, because your knees just don’t move like they used to.

15. You feel like your day is infinitely better when you start the day off with the New York Times crossword.

16. And then get very peeved if the Monday puzzle clearly has the difficulty level of a Wednesday.

17. Whenever you hear a ruckus in the hallway outside your door, you want to run out and yell at them to stay off your lawn! Except it’s an apartment complex, so it would be more of a “Stay off my welcome mat!”

18. You’re very aware of your health, and assume anything abnormal is a result of aging. The Olive Garden you’re sitting in feels chillier than usual? It’s probably because your body can’t regulate its temperature as well anymore.

19. You’ve recently considered switching from coffee to tea because a sip of coffee in the morning will keep you awake way past your bedtime.

20. Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune are not idle interests to you, and you have to warn anyone watching with you that things could get a little dicey if the contestants are incompetent.

21. You’re the only one of your friends who isn’t scared of aging, because you’ve been eighty-five since you were ten, so really, this is your destiny. TC mark

Related

More From Thought Catalog

  • http://darkangellilly.wordpress.com darkangellilly

    Reblogged this on angellilly anime and commented:
    me all the way D: sigh

  • http://thoughtcatalog.com/johanna-mort/2015/04/19-things-only-people-who-are-always-freezing-understand/ 19 Things Only People Who Are Always Freezing Understand | Thought Catalog

    […] more writing like this from Johanna, follow her on Facebook. Read this: 21 Signs You’re A Senior Citizen Stuck In A Youth’s Body Read this: 14 Signs Your Actual Relationship Is With Coffee Read this: 21 Things Only People Madly […]

  • http://thoughtcatalog.com/johanna-mort/2015/04/21-signs-youre-dangerously-close-to-turning-into-squidward/ 21 Signs You’re Dangerously Close To Turning Into Squidward | Thought Catalog

    […] Squarepants For more writing like this from Johanna, follow her on Facebook. Read this: 21 Signs You’re A Senior Citizen Stuck In A Youth’s Body Read this: 23 Michael Scott Quotes That Prove He’s Secretly A Lost Twenty-Something Cataloged […]

  • http://thoughtcatalog.com/johanna-mort/2015/04/14-things-only-people-who-are-allergic-to-basically-everything-understand/ 14 Things Only People Who Are Allergic To Basically Everything Understand | Thought Catalog

    […] more writing like this from Johanna, follow her on Facebook. Read this: 21 Signs You’re A Senior Citizen Stuck In A Youth’s Body Read this: 23 Michael Scott Quotes That Prove He’s Secretly A Lost Twenty-Something Cataloged […]

  • http://thoughtcatalog.com/johanna-mort/2015/04/amy-schumer-spoofs-friday-night-lights-while-expertly-tackling-rape-culture/ Amy Schumer Spoofs Friday Night Lights While Expertly Tackling Rape Culture | Thought Catalog

    […] more writing like this from Johanna, follow her on Facebook. Read this: 21 Signs You’re A Senior Citizen Stuck In A Youth’s Body Read this: 23 Michael Scott Quotes That Prove He’s Secretly A Lost Twenty-Something Cataloged […]

  • http://thoughtcatalog.com/johanna-mort/2015/04/13-signs-youre-the-homebodiest-homebody-of-your-friend-group/ 13 Signs You’re The Homebodiest Homebody Of Your Friend Group | Thought Catalog

    […] more writing like this from Johanna, follow her on Facebook. Read this: 21 Signs You’re A Senior Citizen Stuck In A Youth’s Body Read this: 14 Signs Your Actual Relationship Is With Coffee Read this: 21 Things Only People Madly […]

  • http://thoughtcatalog.com/johanna-mort/2015/04/18-things-only-people-who-work-graveyard-shifts-understand/ 18 Things Only People Who Work Graveyard Shifts Understand | Thought Catalog

    […] more writing like this from Johanna, follow her on Facebook. Read this: 21 Signs You’re A Senior Citizen Stuck In A Youth’s Body Read this: 14 Signs Your Actual Relationship Is With Coffee Read this: 21 Things Only People Madly […]

  • http://thoughtcatalog.com/johanna-mort/2015/05/11-ben-e-king-songs-that-prove-why-you-should-care-about-his-death/ 11 Ben E. King Songs That Prove Why You Should Care About His Death | Thought Catalog

    […] follow her on Facebook. Read this: 17 People You Undoubtedly Knew While In High School Band Read this: 21 Signs You’re A Senior Citizen Stuck In A Youth’s Body Read this: 21 Things Only People Madly In Love With Books Understand Cataloged […]

  • http://thoughtcatalog.com/johanna-mort/2015/05/17-times-the-muppets-understood-your-post-grad-struggles-perfectly/ 17 Times The Muppets Understood Your Post-Grad Struggles Perfectly | Thought Catalog

    […] Muppets For more writing like this from Johanna, follow her on Facebook. Read this: 21 Signs You’re A Senior Citizen Stuck In A Youth’s Body Read this: 21 Things Only People Madly In Love With Books Understand Read this: 23 Michael Scott […]

  • http://thoughtcatalog.com/johanna-mort/2015/05/mindy-kaling-and-bj-novak-to-write-book-about-their-tumultuous-relationship/ Mindy Kaling And BJ Novak To Write Book About Their Tumultuous Relationship | Thought Catalog

    […] Twenty-Something Read this: 15 Lessons You Definitely Learned If You Grew Up On The Princess Bride Read this: 21 Signs You’re A Senior Citizen Stuck In A Youth’s Body Cataloged […]

  • http://thoughtcatalog.com/johanna-mort/2015/05/15-struggles-of-binge-watching-a-show-that-everyone-else-watched-ages-ago/ 15 Struggles Of Binge Watching A Show That Everyone Else Watched Ages Ago | Thought Catalog

    […] her on Facebook. Read this: 17 Times The Muppets Perfectly Understood Your Post-Grad Struggles Read this: 21 Signs You’re A Senior Citizen Stuck In A Youth’s Body Read this: 17 Signs Your Hermit Lifestyle Is Getting A Little Out Of Hand Cataloged […]

  • http://thoughtcatalog.com/johanna-mort/2015/05/23-tv-comebacks-that-are-guaranteed-to-leave-you-with-the-last-word/ 23 TV Comebacks That Are Guaranteed To Leave You With The Last Word | Thought Catalog

    […] Johanna, follow her on Facebook. Read this: 17 Things That Happen When You Have Zero Flirting Game Read this: 21 Signs You’re A Senior Citizen Stuck In A Youth’s Body Read this: 15 Struggles Of Binge Watching A Show That Everyone Else Watched Ages Ago Cataloged […]

  • http://thoughtcatalog.com/johanna-mort/2015/05/bad-poetry-an-ode-to-ravioli/ Bad Poetry: An Ode To Ravioli | Thought Catalog

    […] Johanna, follow her on Facebook. Read this: 17 Things That Happen When You Have Zero Flirting Game Read this: 21 Signs You’re A Senior Citizen Stuck In A Youth’s Body Cataloged […]

blog comments powered by Disqus