1. You don’t actually know much of your favorite restaurant’s menu, because you just order that one dish you know you like. Why bother with anything else, and risk not liking it as much as ol’ reliable?
2. You’ve had the same haircut for the last five years and have no desire to try something new.
3. You operate under the motto, “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
4. The future actively terrifies you because there’s so much change involved in living and zero ways to adequately prepare for it.
5. You have a specific route to and from all of your greatest hits (work, grocery store, gym, etc.) and if a friend convinces you to go a different way, you feel like you’re just living on the edge! You’re both terrified and exhilarated; you hate it and you somehow love it, but absolutely have no plans to do it again.
6. You dream of the day when you can walk into a restaurant/coffee shop/bar and order “the usual.”
7. The idea of putting down roots is honestly the dream. Buy a house and become tied to that location for the next thirty years while you pay off the mortgage? Sign us up, please.
8. Anytime a big life event comes up, like a graduation or wedding, you have sporadic mini panic attacks as you contemplate the inevitable changes that are coming.
9. You felt personally victimized when your favorite restaurant got so popular that they had to move to a larger location that wasn’t convenient for you anymore.
10. Whenever something is falling apart and you can see change looming in your near future, you will go to the ends of the earth to fix everything and prevent that change from actually happening. This is the exact reason you still drive that car you should have sold for parts three years ago.
11. You’d rather live in a shitty apartment for two years longer than you financially have to than move to a nicer place simply because moving is the worst. You have to learn a new kitchen configuration, find a good coffee shop nearby, meet new neighbors…. Too much change all at once, so no thank you.
12. Same thing goes for looking for a new job. You’ve stayed at that job you hate for six months longer than you could bear because new jobs means new everything else.
13. When you go to a bar with friends, they’re always scoping out better booths to move to and you’re just sitting there wondering what’s wrong with the seats you’re in because they’re so comfortable and familiar.
14. You’ve considered walking out of a store when they’ve run out of your preferred brand. The alternative is trying something new and that’s just out of the question.
15. Your friends like to mess with you by suggesting you “mix things up” tonight and go to a bar other than the usual, which often ends with you asking them why they love to torment you.
16. You actually can be flexible despite your averseness to change; you’re just cringing on the inside most of the time.
17. Your day can easily be ruined when you go to the store and find out that they moved all the merchandise around. What was wrong with the old set up? Why do they hate you so much?