14 Signs Your Actual Relationship Is With Coffee
By Johanna Mort
1. Your idea of a perfect date is just you, a cup of coffee (with a full pot on standby), and a good book.
2. It’s the first thing you think about every morning. The only thing that convinces you to get out of bed is the beautiful coffee aroma that wafts into your room every morning. You would take that smell over sweet nothings whispered in your ear any day of the week.
3. You think it’s beautiful at all hours of the day, no matter what it looks like. Hot, iced, latte, black, any form it chooses to take, you love it just as it is.
4. If you ever had to choose between the boyfriend/girlfriend and coffee, you would choose the coffee. A life without coffee is no life at all.
5. You spend all of your extra money on it. Oh my gosh, this mug would look great around my Morning Joe. I should really upgrade my grinder to make sure my coffee is getting the absolute best treatment…
6. You can’t imagine a future without it. It’s always been there for you; it will always be there for you. Your life will always include coffee. Always.
7. It’s constantly on your mind. Constantly. Where’s the closest coffee shop? Do I have time to go grab a cup? What kind should I get? Oh god, I miss it…
8. You only want to go places if you know coffee will be there. Every event invitation you get is immediately followed by the question, “But will they be serving coffee as well?”
9. It’s always your first priority. If you’ve got a to-do list that includes: grab a cup of coffee, pick Mom up from the airport, and save a cat from a tree, you’re grabbing that cup of coffee first.
10. You ache when you’re apart for too long…. Ok, so this might just be a sign of addiction withdrawal. But really, when you’re crazy about someone, don’t you kind of feel addicted to their presence? I’m counting it. It’s not a problem.
11. Ninety-percent of your Instagram includes pictures of you with your coffee.
12. You feel more comfortable when it’s around. There’s just something about walking around with a mug full of coffee that just puts you at ease. You can talk with people without having to worry about what you’re doing with your hands; it’s great!
13. It’s one of the few things that’s guaranteed to cheer you up on a bad day. It gives you that welcome kick to get through every other obstacle in your day, and no matter how poorly the day’s been going, it’s impossible for you to feel sad when you’re sipping on pure happiness.
14. When you clicked on this article, you took a moment to gaze at the coffee picture, and thought, God damn, that’s beautiful. I should go get some coffee.