1. When you first make plans to go on a date:
College: Brag! Brag to all the friends!
Home: Hide! Hide the information at all costs!
2. When your date drops you off at your door, and they’re accosted by your roommates:
College: They’re meeting your roommates, and it’s a really great, fun time.
Home: They’re meeting your family wayyy before you wanted that to happen, and your grandma just happened to be over for dinner, so not only is it awkward, it’s a little bit racist.
3. When you go on a date with someone you just met:
College: It’s exciting! You’re meeting someone new!
Home: You might not know them, but it’s guaranteed that your mom knows their mom from bunko nights.
4. When you hook up at “your place”:
College: You’re in your apartment, probably on your bed or the couch.
Home: You’re in your car, probably at that old make out spot you frequented as a teen.
5. When your roommates ask for details after the date:
College: Your friends: “So what did you talk about? What’s he like?”
Home: Your mom: “So what’s his family like? Does he have a degree? What did he major in?” It’s basically a job interview.
6. When you’re trying to meet people:
College: You have a smorgasbord of options! You can literally walk down the hall and meet someone.
Home: You have Tinder, OkCupid, Match.com (if you have the cash, but like, you’re living at home, so probably not), or there’s that guy you went to middle school with who you see at the 7-11 occasionally.
7. When you’re planning where to meet up that’s convenient for both of you:
College: You’ll walk a block, maybe two.
Home: You met them on OkCupid, and they live an hour away, but there’s a town halfway between you two, and Yelp says there’s a good Thai place there.
8. When you’re getting ready for a date:
College: Yay! So excited! Only had one class today, so you’re full of energy!
Home: Ugh. You’re exhausted. You just finished a 9-hour shift and just want a nap.
9. When they ask what you do:
College: You love answering this question, because you get to talk about your major, your volunteering, and all the clubs you’re in.
Home: You hate answering this question, because you either lie, or you tell them about your full-time gig at Best Buy, and that Monday night is the night you make dinner for your family.
10. When you return from the walk of shame:
College: You’re met with friendly jabs, because your roommates have all been there.
Home: You’re not actually sure how they would react, because you make sure you sneak in during the wee hours of the morning before they’re awake.