1. “Do you like the taste of regret?”

2. “Are you okay if my cat watches? She loves other pussies.”

3. “Were you just baking? Because those buns look hot.”

4. “You’re the spitting image of my sister, except legal.”

5. “My hand could really use a break, are you down to tag in?”

6. “You, me, sex for five minutes, then a good cry for another 30?”

7. “Is your father a thief? Because you are a jewel. Also, I think we did prison time together.”

8. “Do you like bread? Because I’m full of yeast.”

9. “I wear a fedora while I make love, so you know I’m good.”

10. “If you squint hard enough, I look like Chris Hemsworth.”

11. “—> ( )”

12. “—> <—“

13. “( ) ( )”

14. “Just threw some pizza rolls in the oven, if you hurry, I’ll save you some.”

15. “I’m so lonely feel bad for me pls”

16. “Do you like long cocks on the beach?”

17. “Sex me now please.”

18. “I just washed my genitals.”

19. “Game of Thrones and then sex?”

20. “My mom says I’m a catch.”

21. “I can’t commit to anything actually serious, but I do have a Netflix account.”

22. “You look like my ex, and I could really use some closure.”

23. “My bed pulls out, but I don’t.”

24. Eggplant emogi, nothing else.

25. “Wanna go halfsies on a baby?”

26. “I think we’ve met before. Or I’ve at least dreamt about your naked body. One or the other.”

27. “LOL Tinder, amirite?”