1. This is a mistake.
2. Has it really been five years since I graduated high school?
3. OMG IT HAS.
4. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *crying*
5. Yeah, I really want to go back to high school, because that was super fun and I never hid in the bathroom and cried. Nope. Never happened. Not even that one time when fucking Hilary spread that rumor about me.
6. I would rather drink an entire gallon of glass shards than go to this thing.
7. Why do we even have a five-year reunion? No one’s done anything yet! Hey guys, what are you up to? Oh, me? I graduated college, and now I live at home and work as a crossing guard.
8. I’m definitely not going.
9. What if my ex is there? Didn’t he get fat?
10. Ha. Maybe I should go.
11. I’m only going if my best friend goes with me.
12. I should re-watch Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion. That movie’s a classic.
13. Okay, fine, I’ll go. But I’m telling everyone I invented Post-Its.
14. What’s the point of reunions anymore? We’re all on Facebook.
15. Maybe I should delete my Facebook for a bit, build up suspense.
16. I should go out and find a boyfriend before the reunion.
17. Is Chris Pine single?
18. LOOOL wouldn’t that be great. Take that, Hilary! I’m dating Chris Pine!
17. I wonder if that hot guy from Pre-Calculus will be there. What was his name? Oh right, Davis Brown. Holy shit he was hot.
18. Did he RSVP? OH GOD HE DID.
19. I mean, that’s cool. I’m chill. It’s whatever. I’m breezy.
21. Is there a juice cleanse that makes you wake up looking like Beyoncé?
22. Hahaha I could walk in all, “I WOKE UP LIKE DISSS.”
23. I mean, I guess this could be fun, high school wasn’t all bad.
24. It’s decided. I’ll go, but I’m not leaving until I’ve made out with Davis Brown.
25. Sixteen year old me would be so proud.