1. Missed calls that don’t have accompanying voicemails/texts.
Especially if the phone numbers aren’t saved in our phones. Why didn’t they leave a message? Was it a wrong number? Was it that guy that asked for my phone number yesterday? Should I try calling them back? Maybe I’ll just text them really casually?
2. Text message punctuation.
There’s a huge difference between a person texting you “k” and texting you “k.” A solo “k” means “okay, sounds good” while “k-period” automatically sends our minds into a frenzy. Why are they mad at me? Did I say something mean? I didn’t mean to! Oh god how am I going to make this right?
3. Minute trip details.
Going on a road trip? You better believe they’ll have every single gas station, rest stop, and hotel marked on a map long before you leave.
4. What dishes everyone else in the restaurant is eating.
We immediately get buyers remorse whenever we order food. Is that other person having what I ordered? Does it look like it has mayo in it? Did I tell the waiter no mayo? Woah, that person’s BLT looks so good. I wonder if I can change my order.
5. Uneven volume levels.
It’s not a huuuuge deal. But it kills us every time someone’s adjusting the volume on the television and they settle on level 37. SET THE VOLUME TO 36 OR 38, WHAT ARE YOU, A MONSTER??? But like I said, it’s just a teeny tiny annoyance.
6. How long it’s been since someone texted us.
Are they okay? I texted them five hours ago! Are they ignoring me on purpose? Did they lose their phone? What’s happeninggggg.
7. Hoodie string lengths.
Our worlds don’t end when we see this happening, but we will absolutely notice when the strings on our hoodies aren’t even. Some people think it’s funny to playfully yank one side of the string, knocking our whole outfit out of balance, but they’re the only one’s that find that funny. For us, those strings will nag at the back of our minds until we’re able to realign them.
Anytime we post a tweet or status update, we scour the text for any possible typos. If we’re going to do something, we’re going to do it right. And that means there is no room for an incorrect usage of “your.”
9. How much time it takes to get anywhere.
It’s necessary information for any time we need to run errands. If traffic’s good, I can get to the store in 12 minutes, shop for 30, which gives me 13 minutes to get to the Post Office before it closes.
10. Gnats in any room.
We see those little terrors every time they try and buzz around a room. They’re the insect embodiment of our scattered thoughts. Yes, we’re listening to you talk, but the back of our mind is always flitting around like that stupid gnat by the window.
11. Continuity errors in movies.
We notice every time a champagne glass that was full is practically empty two seconds later. If it happens multiple times in one film, it can legitimately ruin a movie for us.
12. Everything’s potential to kill you.
Electrocution while plugging in an older lamp. Gas tanks catching on fire. Carbon monoxide poisoning. Armed robberies. Accidental death by falling piano. We’ve thought of them all.
13. How our food’s prepared.
There’s a best way to prepare every food. While we’re not claiming to be master chefs of any kind, if I’m ordering a burrito bowl from Chipotle, I fully expect the guacamole to be layered under the lettuce, otherwise all that precious guac I’m paying extra for is going to be stuck all over the lid rather than in the bowl.
14. Loose shoelaces.
They’re not untied, they’re just loose at the moment. But we can see that in a matter of minutes, that shoe is going to be completely untied, and become a tripping hazard. In order to not sound like a complete psycho, we end up obsessing about it in our heads. Tighten your shoe, for the love of all that is good, tighten your shoelace. If you wait too long you’re going to have to retie the entire thing.
15. Every stranger’s potential for being a serial killer.
An old woman crosses to your side of the street. On a scale of one to ten, one being Betty White and ten being Ted Bundy, this lady is probably a one, maybe a two. But she seems surprisingly spry for her age, maybe she’s the scout for her grandson, who does the actual killing, there’s really no way to tell. But she’s probably nice?