1. They think Friday and Saturday nights are for something called, “going out.”
We always thought “going out” was like leap year: something we tolerate every four years to keep our lives semi-balanced, but they like to go out multiple times a week. Our psyche and wallets just can’t handle that.
2. They don’t like our favorite TV show.
We could forgive them if they hadn’t seen our favorite show, because yay, now we get to introduce them to some quality silver screen. But if they just don’t like it? Unforgivable.
3. They like to plan day trips for the sole purpose of “getting out of the apartment.”
These are okay occasionally, but every weekend? Please. Just let us lounge in peace.
4. They like to stay out until last call.
We prefer to show up, say “Hi” to our friends, and get out of there in a solid 35 minutes, and it’s just not going to work out if they force us to stick around for another 4+ hours.
5. They cover up the peephole whenever they come over unannounced.
We’re fine if they want to come over unannounced, and we know that nine out of ten times they’re the ones on the other side of the door. However, there’s always the chance that it’s our annoying neighbor instead, and eventually the risk that it’s not them will outweigh the relationship.
6. They assume we don’t do anything when we stay home all day.
Just because we like to stay home as often as possible does not mean we’re not active within our home, and whoever we’re dating needs to understand that.
7. They insist that we go with them when they meet up with people.
We’re cool if the person we’re dating likes to go out into the world and talk with people. Really. But don’t make us go with you. We’ll go with you during that once-in-a-blue-moon time when we’re actually feeling social, but if we’re not? Just leave us be, let us sit in our pillow fort.
8. They don’t see the point in having a Netflix account.
……….. We just don’t really know what to say to this. There’s always a point for Netflix. Always.
9. They like to call you, rather than text you.
Texting means we can multitask and talk with them while watching Better Call Saul. If they call us, we have to pause, which will get real old, real quick.
10. They don’t support wearing pajamas all day.
It’s one of our simple pleasures in life, and one we want to share with the person we’re dating, not argue about.
11. Their couch is super uncomfortable.
It means that we can’t camp out at their place when we’re feeling semi-social, and want to get out of our apartment but not out into the world.