The Ex Boyfriend
He’s probably your boyfriend from high school who you broke up with when you both went off to college. However, every couple months without fail, your mom will call to “just say ‘Hi’” and super casually ask what Kevin’s up to these days. When you reply that you haven’t talked to him in years, she’ll drop something like, “That’s too bad. He was such a nice boy…” Her voice will drift off in a disappointed way, and you’ll almost feel bad about breaking up with him all those years ago. Almost.
Her Best Friend’s Son
She just really wants this one to work out. She and her friend have been playing matchmaker for years in the hopes that you two would be soul mates. It would make the in-law situation so much easier, and Thanksgivings would actually be joyous occasions rather than stress-inducing burdens that only end well fifty percent of the time. In reality, is the son kind of weird, and someone you definitely consider more of a brother? Yes. Will that diminish her hopes for wedding bells? Absolutely not.
The Bag Boy From Your Local Grocery Store
There’s a good chance you’ve never actually met this one. She really likes him because he always asks how her day is going and he knows not to pack the bread under the chicken broth. But since you’re similar in age, she’s convinced that if you just came over and talked with him, the two of you would fall madly in love and live happily ever after.
The Guy Already In A Serious Relationship
It doesn’t matter that he’s a dinner reservation away from getting engaged. She sees how wonderfully this guy treats his actual girlfriend, and she just wants you to magically take the girlfriend’s place. You can remind her of his relationship status until the cows come home, but until he puts a ring on that girl’s finger, she doesn’t think it would hurt for you to simply start up a friendly banter with him.
The Guy From Church
Another one that you’ve probably never met. He’s just the mythical “Evan” that you hear about during every Sunday afternoon phone call. You’re wary of this one because she only ever sees him when he’s on his best God-is-watching behavior, and she can never really say much about him other than “His grandmother is the nicest lady.”
The One That Makes You Happy
Ultimately, she just really wants you to be happy. If that person is the guy you’re currently dating, she’ll absolutely get onboard… eventually. She just gets concerned when he’s taking time to tour with his band, jumping from odd job to odd job. But he’s still trying to figure out what he wants to do in life just like you, which is why the two of you work so well together. Will she keep hoping you fall for one of these other guys? Yes, but that’s just because she wants the absolute best for her baby girl.