1. You Might Regret Falling In Love. You’ll remember what it was, what caused that moment when you placed one foot firmly in front of the other rather than what your brain was telling you to do: run. It was a precarious choice you made. You bet the farm and won, or lost. You’re in a dive bar now, miles from home. You’re telling people what it felt like to move that kind of capital. Maybe you are crying, maybe you’re worse for the wear. You might be one of those people that “don’t have regrets,” and so you’ve woven a serendipitous realization into your story. People like to hear stories like that. It could even be true.
2. You Might Regret Quitting Your Job. Your job is cushy and safe. You know how to inch forward along the treadmill — how to flatter the right people. You know that the evil that you know is better than the evil you don’t know. You’re comfortably good enough at a job that is good enough. You leave the nest again and again. It can’t always work out.
3. You Might Regret Sleeping With That Guy. You don’t know his middle name, maybe not even his last. He’s just so… hot. He knows what he’s doing and your brain is so far out of your body. In the morning you’ll think “I am not the girl my mom raised.” The cool story he impressed you with will seem like a lie. His clothes, messing up your floor, are only highlighting the mess he’d add to your life.
4. You Might Regret That Drunk Text. It could be that coworker you have an inapropriate crush on. It could be lashing out at the friend who annoyed you earlier. Anything you’ve ever wanted to say is at your fingertips and your impulse control is shot. Gather ye rosebuds bb.
5. You Might Regret Being Ordinary. You don’t inhabit the realm of shiny magazine people who wear ironed clothes to work everyday. You don’t even arrive on time. These people seem to have been adults their whole lives. Or maybe you aren’t Aaron Rogers. Or an exceptional chess player. Probably you aren’t exceptional at anything. That’s how ordinary works, most people have to be completely unexceptional. From time to time, when you are in a rut you will wonder if you could have avoided this fate. You could have studied harder in school, gotten into a better college, really applied yourself. Maybe your parents could have paid for art lessons. You’ll always wonder if your ordinary-ness was something you could have changed.