Surprise, I’m hysterical! This one is a personal favorite. What you do is get into a relationship that is either too young to involve fighting or has advanced to a certain point yet you still feel uncomfortable asserting yourself. Let your feelings build up, drink a bottle of wine, wait for your significant other to do the tiniest thing wrong, and unleash it! Completely lose your sh-t in a manner so baffling that your significant other can’t even figure out what they did wrong. The last time I did this the guy I was dating actually left the room mid-sentence and came back and essentially force-fed me a Xanax.
Reciprocity seesaw. To play this game, just get in a relationship with someone who pursues the crap out of you because you’re not that interested and they’re hell-bent on being in your life, but then as soon as they get you, they should immediately start to emotionally neglect you! At some point you should learn that if you ignore them they freak out and start being super affectionate, and then when you finally give in, they should stop paying attention to you. The best part of this game is that it can last forever, and the drama just gets more and more exciting each round as you become more and more insane and terrible to each other!
Sexting blackmail. This happens when you exchange nude pictures with someone you are dating and then you try to find a delicate way to break up with them so they don’t retaliate by sending your pictures to everyone they know. Note: this game can be fun until you unilaterally send n00dz of yourself to someone who runs a website with over a million hits a month and then you have a really horrible end to your relationship, cuz then you get to spend the next indefinite amount of time worrying when they are going to be published to the masses.
Check your call history. The way you play this game is you look at who your significant other has been calling (cuz you’ve already read their text messages once in the past and had a fight about it — now they’re smart enough to delete them). Then you just go through them each one at a time and be like, “What is this number that you don’t have saved in your phonebook? Is that a GIRL? Are you HIDING IT FROM ME?!???!” This game can also be called “Remember, I’m hysterical…” cuz it’s not a surprise anymore.
Guess where your significant other is tonight! This is a super fun guessing game! What you do is you date someone who doesn’t really like you but you haven’t admitted that to yourself, and then spend a lot of time worrying where they are and who they are with when they ignore your texts!