Possible Reasons Why You Are Reading Blogs On A Saturday Night

You are having relationship problems. Sitting by your computer drinking beer and forlornly GChatting someone who is also experiencing relationship problems seems like a better idea than actual social interaction. Plus you probably haven’t showered in several days. Which you blame on the breakup, and we’ll pretend we believe that.

You are stalking your unrequited crush. Constantly refreshing their lifestream to determine their whereabouts and activities makes you feel like you are actually connected to them and a part of their lives. Until you see they have a new Facebook friend who is younger and more attractive than you and you sink into a depression. At which point you should probably just GChat the relationship problems guy.

You are fourteen. Sitting on the internet all night seems like a better idea than watching TV with your parents or going to an eyerollingly mainstream high school sporting event. Good work, angsty teen. Now go reapply your black eyeliner.

I think it’s called “gaming?” I think you are maybe playing something called “World of Warcraft” and you could probably be described as legitimately medically addicted to it. Sorry about your luck.

You live in another country where it is not Saturday night. Congratulations. You are not a loser.

Your friends are all from the internet, somehow. Y’all are ‘partying’ just not IRL. You are watching each other make goofy faces on Tiny Chat and reading your internet poetry on UStream and poking each other ironically. You have a Turntable bear suit and a username that’s an inside joke only your online friends get. In conversations with your real IRL friends they will often say, “Have you ever actually met that person in real life?” But hey, who needs human interaction when you’ve got emoticons?

Your blog actually ‘means something to you.’ You are spending Saturday night cultivating it, hoping to ‘get yourself out there,’ get followers, generate hits, maybe get Stumbled if you’re lucky. I’ll pause for a sec so you can go refresh StatCounter. TC mark


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  • kidcutlery

    Or your snowed in on fucking halloween. In October!

    • guest

      Or because of said cold/snow you have a bad cold from going out another night

      • Catt

        Or because your power has been out since the afternoon and you’ve already finished all your puzzles AND beaten your dad at scrabble twice

  • Beatrix

    Maybe because some of us just wanna spend a quiet evening to unwind and chill? what’s your problem? a severe lack of creative juice. get out there and get laid, please.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1690980049 Uchenna Anyiam

    Other possible reasons: It’s still early as fuck, and nothing good really starts happening until 11. You might have a fuck-ton of work to do and are taking a break before you get back on it. Etc., etc.

    Possible reasons to be WRITING a blog on a Saturday night: All of those things stated in this little piece you wrote. Congratulations, you are a looser. 

    • grammar lover

      Also known as “loser.”

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1690980049 Uchenna Anyiam

        I’ll just go ahead an assume you don’t want me to pretend I care. 

      • grammar lover

        Also known as “and.”

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1690980049 Uchenna Anyiam

        Haha, internet trolls. You people make me laugh. 

  • Gino

    Maybe because Saturday night in NYC sucks. Bridge and tunnel.

  • David Moon

    “You write for Thought Catalogue, and people are tired of hearing your over-generalizations that are less witty than you think.”

  • http://twitter.com/mlsuthe Michael Sutherland

    Though oftentimes Thought Catalog “hits it” in a way, this is not one of those times.

    Maybe I just don’t feel like going to some shitty bar tonight. Maybe I have work to do and I’m procrastinating by reading blogs. Maybe I am going to some party later on, but only because I have to, and I’d rather spend the night reading.

    This is a project in shame; not cool.

  • Sammy G

    Maybe it’s halftime of the football game on TV that you’re watching with your friends.

    Terrible article, go away, please.

  • http://samanthalui.blogspot.com/ Sam Lui

    Wow. What a Debbie Downer. But unfortunately, I just have a ton of homework to do and am just procrastinating. 

  • Michael

    Because it is Halloween for on-campus Trick-or-Treating with the small town children come around dressed in adorable costumes.

  • http://www.facebook.com/grc15r Gregory Costa

    How about my week sucked and I’d prefer my bed over company because it comforts more than any friend could…I hate job interviews.

  • EAZ

    I’m gonna go with the semi-blizzard outside excuse.

  • guest

    or because you have no plans and already feel lame for not going out when you read this and feel even worse about not going out

  • TT

    or because you feel relaxed and decided to read something nice/intelligent/funny while your girlfriend is taking a shower. That obviously didn’t happen…

  • HaleyHearMeNow

    I upload a new post on my blog every Saturday night. This article made my lifelessness just that much more special. :)

  • http://twitter.com/mung_beans Mung Beans

    I’m sick as hell man

  • Jb

    Thank you for reaffirming the fact that I have no friends or life. I’m gonna go stare at a wall now. The internet stares back just a little too hard sometimes.

  • Halsey

    Or you have two midterms next week and so are in your room studying with you friends. So much for going out on Halloween weekend. At least I’ll (hopefully) end up with that engineering degree. 

  • guest

    Maybe cause you’ve done everything out there already.

  • Dennanoss

    Or youre sick.

  • bum

    staying home on a saturday night doesnt make anyone a loser

    • Melissa


  • MugginsMcG

    Or maybe you’re not a flibberdi jibbet twenty or thirty something year old who feel like they have to be out scializing to have  a life!

    • Melissa

      GOT DAMN flibberdi jibbets!

  • aurist

    I read this on a Sunday but the sentiment is still there.

  • Guest

    or you’re in medical school and have a huge exam on monday :(

  • Elle

    The tone of this is so fucking annoying. 

  • CausticWit

    Or because Halloween weekend is amateur hour and you grew tired of making fun of slutty yet ridiculously lame costumes after you left college.

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