How To Get Through A Breakup: A Realistic Approach

The Breakup
The Breakup

In my experience, going through a breakup of a long term relationship is emotionally draining. It is extremely draining initially, but over time, it regresses and returns to normal. As days go by you think less and less of that person, and you slowly become yourself again. The tough days become farther and farther apart. That being said, in this day in age, I’m realizing it’s nearly impossible to forget a person you once loved. More importantly, don’t consciously try to forget this person. You might have had a song or two that you called ‘yours’. Maybe a specific day on the calendar will remind you of him or her, perhaps a birthday or an anniversary date. However, the biggest contributor is social media. Take Facebook, for instance — unless you plan on deleting your ex and their family and friends, you will probably be reminded of your ex at some point. Even if you do think deleting these people and pictures will help you, my guess is you will still be reminded of this person at some point. This leads me to my one and only point one how to get through a breakup:

1. Denial and Emotional Suppression

Don’t try to suppress your feelings, don’t try to suppress the memories, and don’t victimize yourself. None of these things will help you — after all, you want to feel better, don’t you? Given the research on emotional suppression (which I’ve now seemed to cover in a couple blog posts), if you try to suppress your emotions, they will probably just blow up in your face later. In fact, I would be nervous if they didn’t, since emotional suppression can lead to anxiety, depression, and many other health risks. You can consciously choose to remember the negative aspects of a relationship or the breakup. Or, you can choose to remember the good times and be glad it happened. It sounds so cliché doesn’t it But personally, I would much rather go through life optimistically rather than pessimistically. Wouldn’t you? Face your fears, face your thoughts. Challenge your thoughts. Are they correct? Will you think or feel the same way in an hour? A day? It’s okay to still remember someone you were once with, after all you did perceive them as an important part of your life at that time. Why would you want to forget? I’m not going to victimize myself. I’m not going to suppress the memories or feelings. I’m not going to deny the way I felt. I’m realistically coping and getting through it. It will be okay. TC mark

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