Ever since I started my first relationship I have heard the same things over and over again. I’ve been peer pressured into almost losing my personality. I’m crazy, yes. But it’s not something that I have ever tried to hide from someone, especially not a ‘significant other’. Let’s take a look at some of the ridiculous things I’ve heard so far.
1. That I have to play games
Constantly I’m being told ‘if you want to keep him, make him jealous’. JESUS EFFING CHRIST, if I seriously have to keep a guy wanting me by dating one of his friends or necking on with a munter in front of him quite simply, he is not worth my time.
2. That men like sex every day
This is a lie. They like sex with different girls every day. Once they’ve seen you naked every day for 18 months you may as well be a beige wall. They’re tired.
3. That girls ‘don’t like porn’
I didn’t get the memo. I can probably list more porn sites than you. Not sorry.
4. That I have to clean because I am a woman
Seriously? Now, when I once didn’t have a job and I lived with my boyfriend I cleaned the house every day yes, because it was fair. But when we’re both working 6 days a week why exactly do I have to bust my ass with a mop while he watches freaking cartoons?!
5. That my plans, career or interests aren’t as important
‘A good woman always puts her man first’. Yawn. A good woman knows her worth and that she doesn’t come second.
6. That I should dumb myself down
Ahhhhh. I’m not supposed to be smarter than a man am I? Again, did not get the memo. A man that is intimidated by a woman’s intelligence is probably not the kind of woman an intelligent woman wants anyway. Suck it.
7. That being a feminist is bad
As a girlfriend I am not supposed to want my rights. ‘I know about feminists, they’re all man haters!’ Wrong. Again. I can like being nice to my boyfriend, sex and wearing a short pink dress with lipgloss and still care about equal pay.
8. That I should stop being ‘wild’
It’s funny. My boyfriend liked me because I was the kind of girl that just wanted a good time and really didn’t care about what anyone thought of me. Once you’re someone’s girlfriend you’re supposed to act all prim and proper. Yay, no more fun. Ever.
9. That I should think about how I represent the other person
Again, once you’re in a relationship the fact that you get drunk, take off all your clothes and pass out in a parking lot is no longer hilarious. You’re an embarrassment.
10. That I should just ‘make sure I look pretty’
Damn you for this one. I like to look nice. I really, really enjoy putting on make up and doing my hair and generally just being sassy. It’s for me. Not you. Don’t take that away from me.
The f-cked up thing is that people will tell you that you are fantastic just the way you are, then ask you to change. Once you do, they won’t like you anymore, because hey guess what?! You’ve changed! So here’s the thing – don’t change. Don’t ever change who you are for anyone, because anyone who is worthy of you will not ever try to change you.