We Thought We Found A Dead Hooker In The Woods, But It Turned Out To Be Something Much Worse

Emily had been in my class at S.L.K.F. since the first grade and we had been in Drama Club together and performed in a few of the same plays (that’s right, laugh it up. Though, I’ll have you know that our production of Charlotte’s Web was the stuff of legend!) The chanting had stopped and the naked women were all turning to face us. One of them approached and gestured down at me as she turned to address Emily, asking, “You know this boy?”

“Yeah, mom. He goes to Saint Louis. He used to carpool home from rehearsal with us, remember?”

The woman’s expression softened as she turned back to examine me and said, “Oooohhh, okay. What’s your mom’s name again?”

“You’d actually probably remember my grandfather, Jim?”

“Yes, Jim from the carpool! That’s right. Sweet man. So nice. How is he?”

“Good,” I said and smiled at Emily’s mom, trying my best not to reveal how fucking awkward all of this was, but she had already stopped listening. One of the older women whispered something in her ear and she suddenly frowned.

“Tell me why an abomination stalks you,” She said, her tone now utterly serious.

It was pretty obvious what she was referring to and so I explained everything that had happened that night. When I was done, the women exchanged a few knowing nods and then Emily’s mom finally said, “This fire has been purified. Remain in its light until we are done here and you will be safe. Afterwards, Emily and I would be happy to give you a ride home. Do your grandparents still live in Lakeview?”

I slowly nodded as an immense sense of relief washed over me. Emily’s mom gestured at her and said, “Em, dear? Can you entertain your little friend until mom’s done?”

As it turned out, Emily and I actually had a lot in common. For example, we both loved horror movies and agreed that Next Generation was the best Star Trek. “Which obviously means Picard is the best captain.”

Emily grinned and held her hand up to request a high-five as she replied, “THANK YOU! I hate when people try to tell me that Kirk is cooler. I mean, maybe in the movies and only then in the good ones… But in the original series, he’s just a womanizer. And not even a fun one.”

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