We Thought We Found A Dead Hooker In The Woods, But It Turned Out To Be Something Much Worse

He is still the only person who has ever doubled over with laughter at one of my grammar-jokes. Though in retrospect, that was probably the endorphins as well. When he was finally able to speak again, Dwayne pointed down the tracks and said that he knew of the perfect place for us to chill for a minute and catch our breath.

About 20 yards up, the tracks formed a bridge over the 17th street canal, which had a 10-foot high retention-wall running along either side of it. Usually, you would need either a step ladder or boot camp training to scale these walls, but the train-tracks were on a gradual incline that led right over them.

Of course, the other side was all water. At least, that’s what I thought until we took our first step onto the bridge and Dwayne pointed down. There was a small dirt beach which ran beneath the bridge and acted as a base for the cement posts supporting this end of the tracks.

Dwayne demonstrated how to safely get down by sitting on the tracks before slowly lowering himself with his arms. Shortly after, Richie followed behind him, mimicking his technique. I approached the edge of the tracks and sat as I glanced down to see Richie start beneath the bridge. I didn’t see Dwayne but figured he had done the same thing, so I lowered myself down just as I had been instructed.

“And he sticks the landing,” I said as I dropped down and then turned to face the area beneath the bridge. It was pitch black under there, which I thought was weird. And then suddenly it dawned on me:

Oh shit! This is it! This is the prank and you walked RIGHT into it. You. Fucking. Dumbass.

There was a small spark a few feet in front of me and then, for the second time that evening, I watched a light appear out of darkness. Only this time the light was red and also on fire. The road-flare flickered to life, revealing Dwayne’s face as he knelt down and tilted the flare.

Another much larger fire suddenly sprung up out of the ground in front of him. Thankfully, this one was contained by a ring of bricks encasing a small pit. After Dwayne was finished lighting the fire, he and Richie took a seat on one of several milk-crates surrounding it and then Dwayne looked over at me and frowned.

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