I Married The Guy Who Ghosted Me For Three Straight Years

While I was in college I worked for a financial institution. There were very few Millennials where we worked. I did however notice this very handsome guy from the other side of the building. My friends and I composed a list “The Hot Men of the 6000 Building.” This gorgeous guy was #1 on our list.

He had dark blonde hair and these amazing blue eyes. He was very tall—just gorgeous. My friends and I wanted to know who he was. But before I got the opportunity to meet him, the financial institution began laying people off. They had people doing my job in another state due to a merger so I knew I was dispensable. Sure enough, I lost my job.

The very next day, my friend Andrea invited me to a Halloween party and I could not say no. After all, I needed cheering up. I dressed up in a ‘Rasta Imposta’ sailor costume. I knew I looked hot in the form fitting costume and red thigh highs. We entered a very big old Victorian house set on a few acres. There were cookie jars on shelves on every wall. It was a very impressive collection.

I decided to have a few drinks since I had a designated driver that evening. I felt very happy and social. I felt relieved. The merger caused me unnecessary stress and I convinced myself being laid off was a blessing in disguise. I made my way past the staircase and I saw the gorgeous guy from the financial institution about to go up the staircase. I smiled and acted fast.

“Hey, I know you from somewhere?” I said loudly and he turned around and stepped down.

“You look very familiar,” he replied with his brows furrowed in deep thought.

“Are you friends with Andrea M_____?” I asked (even though I knew exactly where I knew him from.)

“No, but you look really familiar,” he replied clearly checking me out.

Once he said that, I knew I had the upper hand. “Do you go to Rutgers?”

“No, do you?”

“Yes, I go there. Wait, do you work at ____ Financial?”

“Yes! I do, I just transitioned to the online department.”

“They just laid off a large number of us yesterday,” I said.

“It’s all because of the merger.”

“I know. At least I now have a chance to be a college student without a full-time job.”

“Cheers to that,” He replied.

We hit it off. Everyone could see the instant chemistry we had, even his awful ex. You know that saying, You don’t know what you have until it’s gone, or They only want you when you’re wanted…that is exactly what happened.

My Soulmate is absolutely gorgeous, but he is a nerd. The beauty of it is that I was too and we had many similarities. I met back up with Andrea and her significant other, who was our designated driver.

Andrea looks at me and says, “It looks like you hit it off with that guy. Do you know him?”

“That’s the guy everyone our age in our building thought was drop dead gorgeous and had no idea who he was. Thank God I got laid off because I definitely want to date him,” I said drunkenly.

“Did you get his number?” Andrea asked.

“Yes, he gave it to me before I could ask.” I could feel my cheeks were super flushed and I was absolutely happy.

The next day I received a text from my Soulmate to grab a drink with him at PJ Whelihan’s. I was so excited. I made sure my blonde hair looked full and did my makeup better than the night he saw me. I had just gotten out of a long-term relationship and I was eager to upgrade to Soulmate.

We talked about everything. We easily spent 3 hours talking about our lives. We were fascinated by each other’s accomplishments. I did notice he kept receiving text messages. He was honest and told me it was his ex. They were still good friends because just like myself, he had dated her since high school. My ex, who I had broken up with three weeks before my layoff and I had dated since I was 16 years old. I was understanding about the situation and respected him for not having a bad dramatic break up because it showed his maturity. I also did not want to be the jealous girlfriend. We were ready to call it a night and we got lost in each other’s gaze and we kissed.

My heart felt like it was skipping beats, I was so thrilled with everything that happened. I called Andrea to tell her all of the details. I also told her how his ex kept texting him the entire time.

“Yeah, that’s shady,” She said in a concerned voice.

“I know, but if something was really going on, he would likely hide it from me. Plus, we just started dating I don’t want to be the ‘jealous type.’ If he keeps doing it, I will make sure other guys text me to see how he likes it,” I said with a smirk on my face knowing how easy that would be.

We both laughed. The next day, I went to my classes happily and well rested. It was a while since I could get decent sleep and go to class energized. When I worked full-time or overtime I would feel drained attending my classes full-time. This layoff was a blessing in disguise. I felt from the lack of sleep I was getting was developing into a mild form of anxiety and making me delirious throughout the day. It was nice to feel normal again.

After class, I looked at my phone and saw my Soulmate texted me. I went to the library to finish my essay and realized I got all of it done over the weekend. I proofread my work and printed it so I could bring it to class the next morning. I asked my Soulmate what he was doing later and he asked me if I wanted to come watch the World Series at Cherrywood.

Our favorite team was losing and his ex kept blowing up his phone. This time I wanted to just lose my cool and call him out on it, but he put his phone on silent and gave me his attention. The game became depressing so he invited me over his house. He still lived with his parents. I was so nervous, but they were the nicest people I ever met. They were going to bed early and asked us to stay because it was snowing. I had no idea what they meant by it, but it was so early in the relationship for me to accept I said I lived nearby. The snow that evening was light.

So we went downstairs to his floor. We were talking for a while and he gazed at me again. We began kissing. It was the most intense kiss I ever had. He tickled the nape of my neck and began kissing it. I took his shirt off just to look at his six-pack. His gorgeous dirty blonde hair and his intense blue eyes lured me into his bedroom. He was so slick, he put on a CD of very seductive alternative rock and I knew I was in love.

I didn’t stay. I went home. My heart was racing. I could not wait to see him again; however, my schoolwork came first. I had to begin putting together my materials for my finals. I was so obsessed with my Soulmate, I would freak out when I did not hear from him. I got a call from his guy friend. The one he introduced me to. He told me he went out with his brother, my Soulmate and his ex was there and she was throwing herself at him. This made me mad because he lied to me about his whereabouts. He could have simply told me he went out with them instead of lying.

I felt something was wrong because I did not give him the impression that he could not be honest with me. I was hurt. I invited him over my apartment on campus. We talked for a while and the same thing happened again. His ex was blowing up his phone.

The culmination of events that occurred finally made me flip out.

“Look, if she is blowing up your phone every time we hang out, she still likes you. You keep answering her, so it’s mutual. You can go back to her. I understand. She has been with you for a very long time. I do value our friendship. We can talk about anything and it’s wonderful, but I think you should go back to her,” I said.

He looked at me confused and said nothing. He grabbed his belongings and left my apartment. I text his cell and apologized.

He replied, “It’s ok.”

He gave me the silent treatment for three years. Now, we live together and are married.