It might be yours, it might be his or hers, but either way there is someone standing in the way of your happiness.
First and foremost I would like to take a moment to try and empathize with the Ex. We have all been there. We have all been in the position where you felt like you still need closure, or you want that one last break up sex, or you have something about your relationship that you cant get off your mind. We have all either sent (or wanted to send) that drunk text message, we have made that late night phone call and left that pleading voicemail. And I get it, you will have spans of time where you cant get them out of your head. You will cry yourself to sleep, and you will see them with someone else. You might even hook up with them, but you must remember, they are no longer yours to keep. You have to remember that your time has come and gone, and if you are truly meant to be you will find a way back to each other without having to force anything, or ruin anything in the process.
Now to the people who are getting fucked over by your partners Ex: I feel you 100%. You have gone about your business, and probably met this person in a very natural way; school, work, out one night, through a mutual friend etc. You probably were not involved in the ending of their relationship with their Ex, and probably do not know their Ex other than a little Facebook and Instagram stalking, and maybe a story heard now and then from someone. But here you are, minding your own business and trying to find happiness with this new person in your life. You have started to open yourself up to this person, and even worse, you might be falling in love with them.
Then here comes the Ex. Crashing your perfect party with no remorse. You didn’t see them coming, and suddenly like a thief they steal your partner out of your life without a trace. You will probably be confused and you will probably want answers. But I am here to tell you that you may never get them.
What I am NOT here to tell you is that things will get easier, that the sun with still rise, and that you will pick yourself up and dust yourself and carry on with life. I know that sometimes it feels like the worst thing in the world, I know it feels like the world just swallowed you, and that you were just defeated by something you couldn’t even defend yourself against. Your sun might not rise tomorrow. You might walk around with a thundercloud over your head for a week. You might want to cry yourself to sleep every night. You might not want to hear all your friends’ advice and you might not want to listen to what your heart is telling you.
You might have too much pride (sorry to be the one to tell you that). It fucking kills to know that you are being picked second. It hurts to think that what you had wasn’t as meaningful as you thought it was. I cant guarantee you answers, or a foolproof cure to this heartache, but what I can say is that its okay to be pissed off, and its okay to hate that Ex. It’s okay to deal with this heart ache in any way you see fit, and in any way that is going to work for you. Your sun will rise, and your tears will dry, when ever you are ready for it.