Even if your boyfriend has reassured you over and over again that his female friend is “just a friend,” if you’re still suspicious, look for clues that their relationship skirts the danger zone of becoming something more. Here are nine signs they’re not just friends:
1. He Talks Glowingly About Her
When he talks about her, you see his eyes glaze over with the look that you thought he reserved just for you. It’s the look your man gave you when you first met and fell in love. If you see that starry look in his eyes when he talks about her, danger is lurking.
2. He Runs To Her With His Problems
You’re his girlfriend, so you expect you’re his number one support person, yet you find him calling her when issues arise. If he turns to her for emotional support when he should lean on you, continue to watch for other disturbing clues.
3. He Looks For Opportunities To Hang Out With Her Alone … Without You
If there’s always something that the two of them have to do together alone, keep a watchful eye on their behavior. They might try to justify it by saying that this is their “friend thing,” or that they’ve always done this together and you can join them next time. Maybe it’s true, but don’t let them blind side you with a dramatic turn in your relationship where you find yourself alone.
4. You Find Her Stuff In His Apartment
This is where your boyfriend tells you that she’s storing her things at his place because she ran out of storage space at her apartment. Maybe he’s just helping a friend out, but beware if he’s helping “store” her pink toothbrush in his bathroom!
5. He’s There For Her When She Needs A Man’s Helping Hand
Guess who runs to her aid when her car breaks down or her plumbing needs fixing: YOUR boyfriend. He’s her go-to guy when she needs help with her “honey-do” list. If your man is always responsive to her requests while your drippy faucet keeps on dripping, refer her to your local plumber and see if she takes the hint.
6. He Takes Her Calls When He’s With You
Even worse, he walks away from you so that he can talk with her in private. If he doesn’t want you to listen in on their conversation, this is a serious danger sign that she’s more than “just a friend.”
7. He Acts Jealous When She Has A Date
In his eyes, no other guy is good enough for his “girl” friend, and you get to listen to his criticism of the guys she goes out with. You may feel puzzled by his overzealous critique of her suitors and wonder why he’s so picky about who she dates if they’re “just friends.”
8. They Have Secret Stories Between Them
When you’re all hanging out together and they seem to share a private joke that you know nothing about, that’s a danger sign — especially if they don’t want to cue you in on the joke so that you can laugh with them. Their private stories could indicate a private, secret relationship that doesn’t include you.
9. You Catch Him In Half-Truths About Her
Your boyfriend knows that you don’t like him hanging out with his female “friend,” so he “forgets” to tell you they went to the movies together or hung out alone at her apartment. Anything short of complete honesty and transparency when it comes to his “friend” could signal a relationship that’s moving OUT of the friend zone.
Don’t sit on the sidelines and watch their relationship turn in to something more while you’re being left behind. If you see any of these signs, it’s possible they’re completely innocent … or they’re dangerous clues that your boyfriend is developing deeper feelings for this friend.
If you’re going to stay in this relationship, you need to set your boundaries. Spell out what YOU feel is appropriate behavior in their friendship. If your boyfriend chooses to disregard your feelings and the boundaries you set, you will need to consider whether these danger signs are worth risking your heart.