1. There’s a difference between loving and being loved.
Being loved is expecting satisfaction and happiness from another entity. “You will make me happy.” Being loved is expecting the other person to sympathize and fulfill our needs. Being loved is to be served by the other person while loving is not expecting anything in return. Loving is having the intention of making the other person happy.
2. You can never change your partner. You can only change yourself.
Change is rooted from personal choice. No other person nor object can change an individual. You can say what you want to change in your partner, but words will just be words. Learning how to adjust goes a long way. Sure, your words can influence change, but again, changing comes from within. Instead, you change yourself. You learn to accept, you learn to change your perspective. You can never control a person, vice versa.
3. When your partner makes a mistake, it doesn’t mean that he/she loves you less.
This is one thing we’ve all struggled with. Partner makes mistake,and then we start to feel the world crumbling. It’s normal for our boyfriends or girlfriends to hurt us sometimes with words or actions, but just because your darling forgot to reply to your text, doesn’t mean darling loves you less. Keep in mind that no one in this world was created for your benefit, therefore, no one is perfect. Know the value of forgiveness, and hold on tight to the trust that you gave. Trust that they won’t do those “mistakes” (i.e. cheating, physically hurting, you know the drill).
4. Your partner does not exist to complete you.
As mentioned above, your partner’s purpose in life is to make you happy and bring you to a bed of roses. Two people in a relationship are two complete, human beings. You enter a relationship when you’re you, when you’re no longer missing a piece of yourself. Your partner is not an object nor the missing piece to your puzzle. You are a team, and you support each other. You respect the fact that he or she does not live for you, hence do not fret when not all your wants and expectations are met. They’re human too, and they have a life of their own.
5. That’s why you should not have expectations.
Expectations. Once you set them, prepare to be disappointed. Do not expect your boyfriend or girlfriend to bake you a batch of heart-shaped cookies for Valentine’s Day, do not expect a sweet, good morning text every day, do not even expect him or her to love you the way you love them. Why? Because expectations can fall short, and since when is it okay to put pressure in a relationship? Not only are you pressuring your partner, but yourself. You become anxious. You don’t trust the natural flow of things. I suggest, just let it flow. Relax, and detach.
6. At the end of the day, love won’t be enough to make a relationship work.
Pretty obvious one, but as you progress through the relationship,you start to realize that while love can move mountains, it’s not the only thing you need to make your ship sail (pun intended.) The first few years with your SO will be flowery, sparkly, and all that stuff you see in the movies, but then you reach a rocky path. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to bring out the best weapon you’ll have. FRIENDSHIP. With friendship, there is acceptance, honesty, and communication. You treat your lover as a precious pal- someone you’ll catch when he or she falls, someone you’ll share your secrets with, someone you’ll sacrifice your life for.