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Songs From An Empty Room

The single grainy black and white photo of Marianne, half obscured by her own shadow, bestows her with beauty, for she is nothing more than an idea of what she is, a personal vessel of fantasy.

Intro To A Boner

An erotic one-act pantomime play from which carnal knowledge is got, with digressive phallic metaphor and symbolic patricide.

Real Doll vs. Real Dog

Man’s best friend, and his non-sentient lover, are more similar than one would think, subtleties clarified herein for this unnecessary problem. For the purposes of narrative, our real doll and real dog have been named Rosie and Baxter, respectively.

Bedding Complexities Explained

Necessity was the mother of invention, now consumerism is. A recent trip to Bed Bath & Beyond overwhelmed me so much, I did some subsequent research and have compiled the ultimate guide to bedding.

Meta-Contextual Article About Its Composition

The writer of this article is suffering from allergies, and has blown his nose into the same paper napkin 4 – 5 times, depositing more mucous than napkin was designed to handle. The setting western sun throws itself as some intimate cosmic slut onto two people before me.

History of Mom Jeans

In the late 20th century, perhaps as existential concession to the futility of remaining attractive after marriage, and in part due to the late capitalist compulsion to buy crap indiscriminately, something awful happened known as Mom Jeans.

Jared Leto as Kurt Cobain

Jared Leto has played Kurt Cobain, rather well I admit, actually singing “Pennyroyal Tea,”  resulting in a quick google yield that presented me with Leto’s band 30 Seconds to Mars, as I was not aware the dude could sing. Yes, pop gets confusing and incestuous after a while. Too many creative freaks inside the kiddy pool.

On Buscemeyes

These funny looking eyes adorning our most heralded sex icons and female celebrities are so enjoyable, surreal, and uncanny —  exposing the artifice of their sheen into some internal sleep-deprived struggle, as portrayed by these sunken post-manic Buscemi eyes.

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