1. Hair dye never turns out looking the way it says on the box.
2. Emergency contraceptives are for EMERGENCIES; they are not an acceptable birth control method.
3. Don’t make fun of your mother’s fashion; it will come back and you will be wearing it.
4. Do not try to cut your own hair; paying a professional is always worth it.
5. Don’t give your passwords to your SO; it will be problematic.
6. Alcohol doesn’t make you more interesting; it makes you do stupid things you will definitely regret.
7. Stop acting so defensive; people are not even attacking you.
8. Learn how to properly play sports; it’s a great way to meet people.
9. Magic marker fights might seem fun but you WILL get poked in the eye and it WILL be painful.
10. Be kind to your mother; you will end up having the same quirks that drive you crazy.
11. Do not date your friend’s ex; even if she told you she’s ok with it, she’s not. Plus, he is a jerk.
12. Do not abuse animal print; you look like a zoo.
13. It’s ok to say “no”; you don’t need to go out with any guy just because he asked you.
14. Know when to stop plucking your eyebrows; enough is enough.
15. Coloring your nails with sharpie markers does not count as a manicure.
16. It’s ok to demand him to wear a condom; it’s ok to refuse sleeping with him if he doesn’t.
17. Pay attention on history class; it will come up later in life and you will make a fool of yourself by not knowing anything about the cold war. Also, don’t beat on yourself up too much when this happens; it was embarrassing but not the end of the world. Just go read a book and don’t let it happen again.