As the morning desert sun began blasting in through the bedroom window of his small stucco cottage, Magnus Gompers started the day the way he always did—by masturbating in bed.
To his tremendous discomfort, he realized the messages were being sent from his own number…to his own number.
One day God the Father was sitting up in heaven reading The Holy Bible, and he realized how patriarchal it all was.
It was all over in under a minute—less time than it usually took him to retouch a photo of himself.
“You came promising a cure, but instead you brought the disease.”
They shared the same heart, the same torso, the same ass, the same penis. What they didn’t share were any opinions. They couldn’t even toast a slice of bread without a vicious political argument breaking out.
Rex rushed into a stall, locked the door, unbuckled his belt, and opened his pants. To his extreme dismay, he noticed his penis looked substantially smaller than normal.
In the past three days, Iris had given birth three times—each time she’d gone to the bathroom to defecate.
The manhunt began the moment one of the observers notified police to say, “I have just seen a boy murdered on the Internet.”
It was a summer morning like any other—except for the fact that when he looked in the bathroom mirror while splashing cold water on his face, Gregg Sandstone did not expect to see an adult human vagina occupying the center of his forehead.