A Real Mouthful: 100 Wacky Ways To Say ‘Blowjob’

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Flickr KAZ Vorpal
Flickr KAZ Vorpal

1. Addressing the Court

2. BJ

3. Bagpiping

4. Basket Lunch

5. Beej

6. Blowie

7. Blowing the Love Whistle

8. Bobbing for Apples

9. Bone-Lipping

10. Buccal Onanism

11. Brentwood Hello

12. Charming the Snake

13. Climbing the Corporate Ladder

14. Cock-Gobbling

15. Copping a Doodle

16. Courting the Gay Vote

17. Drinking a Slurpee

18. Dropping on It

19. Earning your Keep

20. Essin’ the Dee

21. Face-Frosting

22. Fellatio

23. Fluting

24. French Abortion

25. Gator Mouth

26. Getting a Facial

27. Getting a Lewinsky

28. Getting a Throat Culture

29. Getting to the Cream Filling

30. Giving Cone

31. Giving Face

32. Giving Head

33. Gobbling Pork

34. Going Down

35. Gumming the Root

36. Punching

37. Giving Big Jim and the Twins a Bath

38. Giving Brain

39. Giving Head

40. Gum-Rooting

41. Gumming the Green Bean

42. Head Job

43. Honkin’ Bobo

44. Huffing Bone

45. Hummer

46. Interrogating the Prisoner

47. Kneeling at the Altar

48. Knob Job

49. Larking

50. Laying Some Lip

51. Licking the Lollipop

52. Making Mouth Music

53. Making the Blind See

54. Meeting with Mr. One-Eye

55. Mouth-Fucking

56. Mouth-Holstering the Nightstick

57. Mouth-Milking

58. Mouth-to-Junk Resuscitation

59. Opening Wide for Dr. Chunky

60. Oral Sodomy

61. Peeling the Banana

62. Penilingus

63. Piston Job

64. Playing Pan’s Pipes

65. Playing the Pink Oboe

66. Playing the Skin Flute

67. Pole-Smoking

68. Polishing the Trailer Hitch

69. Pricknicking

70. Protein Milkshake

71. Receiving Holy Communion

72. Respecting Your Superiors

73. Sampling the Sausage

74. Scooby-Snacking

75. Secretarial Duties

76. Singing to the Choir

77. Skull-Buggery

78. Skull-Fucking

79. Slobbin’ the Knob

80. Smiling at Mr. Winky

81. Smoking the Pink Pipe

82. Smoking Pole

83. Southern France

84. Speaking into the Bonophone

85. Speaking Low Genitals

86. Spit-Shining a Baseball Bat

87. Spraying the Tonsils

88. Sucking Off

89. Sucky-Ducky

90. Suck-Starting the Harley

91. Swallowing the Baloney Pony

92. Sword-Swallowing

93. Taking One’s Temp with a Meat Thermometer

94. Talking into the Mic

95. Telling it to the Judge

96. Waxing the Carrot

97. Worshiping At the Altar

98. Wringing It Dry

99. Yaffling the Yogurt Cannon

100. Zipper Dinner TC mark

Jim Goad

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