1. “The Westfield Watcher.”
[The home] was been the subject of my family for decades…I have be [sic] put in charge of watching and waiting for its second coming…My grandfather watched the house in the 1920s and my father watched it in the 1960s. It is now my time….Why are you here? I will find out…Now that they have to flaunt it, they pay the price…Tsk, tsk, tsk…bad move. You don’t want to make 657 Boulevard unhappy.…Do you need to fill the house with the young blood I requested?…Once I know their names I will call them and draw them too [sic] me….I asked the woods to bring me young blood.
Have they found what is in the walls yet?…In time they will…I am pleased to know your names now and the name of the young blood you have brought to me.…It will help me to know who is in which bedroom then I can plan better….All of the windows and doors in 657 Boulevard allow me to watch you and track you as you move through the house….Who am I? I am the Watcher and have been in control of 657 Boulevard for the better part of two decades now….You have changed it and made it so fancy….It cries for the past and what used to be in the time when I roamed its halls…When I ran from room to room imagining the life with the rich occupants there.…And now I watch watch and wait for the day when they [sic] young blood will be mine again.
2. “IF YOU ARE A GIRL AND HAVE A PITBULL TERRIER, STOP!”
IF YOU ARE A GIRL AND HAVE A PITBULL TERRIER, STOP!
This message is for a certain young lady who owns multiple pitbull terriers, so if this not you, cease reading.
I see you nearly every lunch hour of mine in here. You seem to have 3-4 dogs, two black ones, and a brindle, along with a mongrel I am not as of yet familiar with. Perhaps it belongs to your friend.
Yesterday, you were in here with a friend, with a brown dog and the mongrel. Everytime that I see you coming, I want to approach you and introduce myself. Instead, I find myself overcome by shyness and jumping off the trail, and watching you from afar. But yesterday, I slipped up and almost came out to say hello, but thought better of it. I was too close and you could smell my cologne. I was close enough to hear you ask your friend if she smelt cologne, and I watched you stop and smell the air. You reminded me of a tiny fox the way you lifted your face and scented the air. I know that your dog seen [sic] me because the hair on its back stood up. I watched you grab you dog before he could bolt into the woods, thankfully for me as it is a very big dog.
I am very impressed every time I see you in the woods. You seem to realize when you are being watched, but perhaps your very large, aggressive looking dogs, plus the bear spray and the concealed knife I know that you carry, give you a sense of security. However, you obviously have sharp senses, as every time that you stop and look around yourself, I feel as if I am almost caught.
I just wanted to tell you that I think you are very beautiful and have a beautiful body. I do not intend for this message to scare you, as it shouldn’t. I only hope that one day I am courageous enough to come out and say hello. I realize that other people who read this may find it “creepy,” but you seem to be smart enough to know the difference, and frankly it is noone [sic] else [sic] business.
3. “Philly’s Hottest Blonde” threatened by man who lives with his mommy.
I HOPE YOU DIE IN AN AUTOMOBILE ACCIDENT AND CRUSHES YOUR UGLY FACE THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD AND A LARGE PIECE OF GLASS CUTS YOUR THROAT
YOU JUST PISSED ME OFF/ / / / I WILL FUCKIN’ KILL YOU/ / / / / DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?????????…I WARNED YOU BEFORE ABOUT DOING THIS AND WILL CONTINUE MY WRATH UNTIL YOU STEP DOWN AS A MODEL GO BACK TO COLLEGE AND MOVE BACK NEAR YOUR FAMILY IN PHILLY
4. “To Miss Whitney Houston: Please, Keep Smiling.”
To Miss Whitney Houston
Miss Whitney, you are a beautiful lady and a beautiful person. I really and truly am in love with you. Please believe in life and in love and trust in yourself, and in your friends and trust in god.
Miss Whitney, you are a special person with a wonderful gift. Please keep singing and helping people to be happy, but most of all, Miss Whitney, Please Keep Smiling.
To Miss Whitney Houston
Miss Whitney, you are just so pretty and so beautiful. I just cannot stop thinking about you. Many times when I think about you I will start to shake. Miss Whitney, what am I doing wrong. I am in love with you. I really and truly am in love with you. Whitney, Please, Please give me a chance.
Whatever you decide to do, could you do one thing at least. Please, Keep Smiling.
To Miss Whitney Houston
I try to write to you but I just do not know what to say. I think that you are the most beautiful lady that there is in the whole world. Miss Whitney, I am in love with you.
I saw a headline for an article in one of those things in the supermarket saying that you were married allready [sic]. I am sure they made it up but I allmost [sic] broke down right then and there and I have still been sick for the last several days. I cannot stop thinking about it and I just shake and feel sick in my gut….
Miss Whitney, why can’t you respond to my 70 plus letters…
Miss Whitney, I really am in love with you. Please, believe me. You probably think that I am crazy. Well, meebe [sic] I am. I just can’t give up. I have to keep trying. I really am in love with you. Hug your kitty cats and smile that pretty smile of yours. Please, Keep Smiling.
5. Man offers to die for Mark Zuckerberg.
I am completely tired and exhausted …. I am extremely sorry for bothering you at early hours
Please mark … time is really running out for me .. please help me . I really need your help … please respond in time … before it get [sic] too late for us …
I owe entire my [sic] life at your service .. please help me, then I am ready to die for you … these are not just the words … these are coming from my heart …
Please understand my pain …. Once again, I am extremely sorry for everything … please understand my situation …
Please understand the urgency …time is really running out me [sic] …
Please do the need ful [sic] thing
Your [sic] truly
6. Man shoots at president to prove his love for actress.
There is a definite possibility that I will be killed in my attempt to get Reagan. It is for this very reason that I am writing you this letter now.
As you well know by now I love you very much. Over the past seven months I’ve left you dozens of poems, letters and love messages in the faint hope that you could develop an interest in me. Although we talked on the phone a couple of times I never had the nerve to simply approach you and introduce myself. Besides my shyness, I honestly did not wish to bother you with my constant presence. I know the many messages left at your door and in your mailbox were a nuisance, but I felt that it was the most painless way for me to express my love for you.
I feel very good about the fact that you at least know my name and know how I feel about you. And by hanging around your dormitory, I’ve come to realize that I’m the topic of more than a little conversation, however full of ridicule it may be. At least you know that I’ll always love you.
Jodie, I would abandon this idea of getting Reagan in a second if I could only win your heart and live out the rest of my life with you, whether it be in total obscurity or whatever.
I will admit to you that the reason I’m going ahead with this attempt now is because I just cannot wait any longer to impress you. I’ve got to do something now to make you understand, in no uncertain terms, that I am doing all of this for your sake! By sacrificing my freedom and possibly my life, I hope to change your mind about me.
This letter is being written only an hour before I leave for the Hilton Hotel. Jodie, I’m asking you to please look into your heart and at least give me the chance, with this historical deed, to gain your respect and love.
I love you forever,