Thought Catalog

400 Euphemisms For Sexual Intercourse

  • 0
Doug Kerr/ (Flickr Creative Commons)
Doug Kerr/ (Flickr Creative Commons)

1. A bit of crumpet
2. A bit of “How’s yer father?”
3. A bit of the old in-out, in-out
4. Accommodation
5. Act of darkness
6. Adult naptime
7. Afternoon delight
8. Aggressive cuddling
9. Agreeing on stuff
10. Amorous congress
11. Assault with a friendly weapon
12. Attacking the pink fortress
13. Baking the potato
14. Balling
15. Bam-bam in the ham
16. Banana in a fruit salad
17. Bandicooting
18. Banging
19. Barneymugging
20. Basket-making
21. Batter-dipping the corn dog
22. Beard-splitting
23. Beating guts
24. Bedroom rodeo
25. Being intimate
26. Belly-bumping
27. Bending her over a barrel and showing her the fifty states
28. Bisecting the triangle
29. Blitzkrieg mit dem fleischgewehr
30. Blowing the grounsils
31. Bludgeoning the flaps
32. Bodging
33. Boffing
34. Boinking
35. Bonestorming
36. Boning
37. Boom-boom
38. Boppin’ squiddles
39. Bouncy-bouncy
40. Bow-chick-a-wow-wow
41. Bringing an al dente noodle to the spaghetti house
42. Bruising the beef curtains
43. Buckwilding
44. Bulging the back of the old onion bag
45. Bumping uglies
46. Buttering the biscuit
47. Burping the worm in the mole hole
48. Burying the weasel
49. Bushwacking
50. Buying Frisbees
51. Buzzing the Brillo
52. Carnal knowledge
53. Cattle-prodding the oyster ditch with the lap rocket
54. Caulking the tub
55. Cave-diving
56. Charvering
57. Checking the oil
58. Chesterfield rugby
59. Christening the yak
60. Churning butter
61. Cleaning the cobwebs with the womb broom
62. Clicketing
63. Clunge plunge
64. Commixtion
65. Completing the jigsaw puzzle
66. Corking the onion
67. Crashing the custard truck
68. Creaming the Twinkie
69. Crunching guts
70. Crushing buns
71. Cully-shangying
72. Dancing in the sheets
73. Dancing the goat’s jig
74. Daubing the brush
75. Dickening
76. Digging up the sand crab
77. Dinky-tickling
78. Dipping the crane in the oil well
79. Dipping the stinger in the honey
80. Dipping the wick
81. Disappointing the wife
82. Docking
83. Doddling
84. Doing it
85. Doing squat thrusts in the cucumber patch
86. Doing the Devil’s dance
87. Doing the dirty deed
88. Doing the dipsy doodle
89. Doing the do
90. Doing the hibbety-dibbety
91. Doing the horizontal greased-weasel tango
92. Doing the mystery dance
93. Doing the nasty
94. Doing the wild thing
95. Doinking
96. Doodle-bopping
97. Doodling
98. Drabbling
99. Driving Miss Daisy
100. Dunking the dingus
101. Enraging the cave
102. Entangling the lower beards
103. Entering the castle
104. Exploring Punarnia
105. Extreme flirting
106. Feeding the kitty
107. Fenorking
108. Ferking
109. Fettling
110. Fickey-fick
111. Fidgeting the midget in Bridget
112. Filling her out like an application
113. Filling the cream donut
114. Filling the gas tank
115. Fishing for kippers
116. Fixing the clap flap
117. Fletching
118. Flimp-flopping
119. Forbidden polka
120. Four-legged foxtrot
121. Frickle-frackle
122. Frigging
123. Fucking
124. Funny business
125. Furgling
126. Getting a bellyful of marrow
127. Getting busy
128. Getting down
129. Getting it on
130. Getting laid
131. Getting some
132. Getting up in them guts
133. Getting one’s banana peeled
134. Getting one’s bean waxed
135. Getting one’s bone honed
136. Getting one’s canoe shellacked
137. Getting one’s kettle mended
138. Getting one’s Twinkie stinky
139. Getting some stank on the hang down
140. Giving her the beans
141. Giving the dog a bone
142. Going all the way
143. Going balls-deep
144. Going crab fishing in the Dead Sea
145. Going heels-to-Jesus
146. Going in the nappy dugout
147. Going to the grocery store
148. Gland-to-gland combat
149. Glazing the donut
150. Greasing the loaf pan
151. Grummeting
152. Gutsticking
153. Hanging 20 toes
154. Hanging at the Y
155. Hanky panky
156. Harpooning the salty longshoreman
157. Having relations
158. Having hot pudding for supper
159. Hiding the bishop
160. Hiding the Nazi
161. Hitting a home run
162. Hitting the skins
163. Hitting the upvote button
164. Hot beef injection
165. Humpy-squirty
166. Horizontal refreshments
167. Hot yoga
168. Humping
169. Huntching
170. Interior decorating
171. Introducing Charley
172. Intromission
173. Jamming the clam
174. Jerking it where she’s twerking it
175. Jerking off with someone to talk to
176. Jiffy-stiffing
177. Jiggery-pokery
178. Jingle-jangling
179. Jinking
180. Jiving
181. Joint session of Congress
182. Jumping bones
183. Jumping the turnstile
184. Knobbing
185. Knocking boots
186. Knowing someone in the biblical sense
187. Launching the meat missile
188. Laying pipe
189. Loading the clown into the cannon
190. Locking legs and swapping gravy
191. Lust-and-thrust
192. Makin’ bacon
193. Making a magical sandwich
194. Making it
195. Making love
196. Making one’s way downtown
197. Making the beast with two backs
198. Making whoopee
199. Marital congress
200. Mashing the fat
201. Mattress-dancing
202. Matrimonial polka
203. Midnight jockey ride
204. Mingling limbs
205. Mishing
206. Moistening the Pope
207. Mollocking
208. Monkey business
209. Monster mashing
210. Mort douce
211. Mortar and pestle
212. Moving furniture
213. Myrtling
214. Naffing
215. Nailing
216. Negotiating the forested chasm
217. Nobbling
218. Noddy
219. Nubbing
220. Nugging
221. Nurtling
222. Nut in the gut
223. Nygling
224. Occupying
225. Opening the gates of Mordor
226. Organ grinding
227. Oscillating the unmentionables
228. Paddling up Coochie Creek
229. Palliardizing
230. Pants-off dance-off
231. Parallel parking
232. Parking the beef bus in Tuna Town
233. Parting the pink sea
234. Passing the gravy
235. Patching the hatchet wound
236. Peeling the tree bark
237. Pelvic pinochle
238. Phutzing
239. Pickling the prime meridian
240. Pile-driving
241. Pizzling
242. Planting the parsnip
243. Playing a game of Mr. Wobbly hides his helmet
244. Playing dungeons and dragons
245. Playing hide the cannoli
246. Playing peek-a-boo with your vein cane in the flesh pipe
247. Playing Tetris
248. Playing with the box the kid came in
249. Plonking
250. Plooking
251. Plowing through the bean field
252. Plugging
253. Pogo in the shrub
254. Poking squid
255. Pole-varnishing
256. Polishing the porpoise
257. Pondering the unicorn
258. Porking
259. Posting a letter
260. Pounding the paternal piston
261. Pounding the punani pavement
262. Puddle-snuggling
263. Pranging
264. Praying with the knees upwards
265. Pressing dangly parts
266. Pressing the baby button
267. Pressure-washing the quiver bone in the bitch wrinkle
268. Prick-scouring
269. Prigging
270. Pronging
271. Pully-hawly
272. Pumping fur
273. Punch-fucking the rosebud
274. Punching the cow
275. Putting condensed milk on the waffle
276. Putting ranch dressing in Hidden Valley
277. Putting the bread in the oven
278. Putting the email in the spam folder
279. Putting the wand in the chamber of secrets
280. Quelching
281. Quimsticking
282. Releasing the Kraken
283. Riding St. George
284. Riding the bolonga pony
285. Riding the Bony Express
286. Rip-‘n’-Dip
287. Roasting the broomstick
288. Rocking ‘n’ rolling
289. Rogering
290. Rolling in the hay
291. Rooting
292. Roughing up the suspect
293. Rubbing the fun bits
294. Rubbing wet spots
295. Rumbusticating
296. Rummaging in the root cellar
297. Rumpling
298. Rumpy-pumpy
299. Rutting
300. Schnoodlypooping
301. Scoring
302. Scragging
303. Screwing
304. Scrogging
305. Scromping
306. Scrumping
307. Searching for pocket change
308. Seeing a man about a dog
309. Sending out for sushi
310. Sexual congress
311. Sexy time
312. Shaboinking
313. Shafting
314. Shagging
315. Shaking sheets
316. Shampooing the wookie
317. Sharpening the pencil
318. Sheathing the meat dagger
319. Shocking the monkey
320. Shooting the meat rocket into the sausage wallet
321. Shrimpin’ the Barbie
322. Shtupping
323. Shucking the oyster
324. Sinking the pink
325. Skeet-shooting
326. Skinning the cat
327. Sklooging
328. Slamming the clam
329. Slap and tickle
330. Slapping sloppies
331. Slaying the vadragon
332. Sliming the banana
333. Slippin’ and slidin’
334. Slophockey
335. Smacking the salmon
336. Smashing buttflaps
337. Smashing pissers
338. Smegging
339. Snabbling
340. Snibbing
341. Snu-snu
342. Souring the kraut
343. Spearing the bearded clam
344. Spelunking the slime cave
345. Splitting the hamster
346. Splooge bathing
347. Splurgin’ the nurge
348. Spray-painting the cervix
349. Squat-jumping in the cucumber patch
350. Squishin’ the gibbly bits
351. Sticking it in the slop box
352. Sticking the llama’s head up the lift shaft
353. Stirring guts
354. Stirring the up-skirt yogurt
355. Struggle snuggling
356. Stuffin’ the muffin
357. Stuffing the taco
358. Swanky swirling
359. Sweeping the chimney
360. Switcheling
361. Taking Grandma to Applebee’s
362. Taking ol’ One-Eye to the optometrist
363. Taking the bald-headed gnome for a stroll in the misty forest
364. Taking the magic bus to Manchester
365. Taming the strange
366. Tapping ass
367. Testing the humidity
368. Testing the suspension
369. Thumping thighs
370. Thrashing the gash
371. Threading the needle
372. Thrumming
373. Tickling her tummy from the inside
374. Tiffing
375. Tonking
376. Torpedoing the eel
377. Tripping down the mine shaft
378. Tromboning
379. Tube-snake boogie
380. Tubular wedging
381. Tumbling
382. Tunnel patrol
383. Twirling the Dum Dum
384. Two-ball in the middle pocket
385. Two-person push-ups
386. Tying the true lover’s knot
387. Using a telescope to explore the black hole
388. Venerean mirth
389. Venery
390. Violating the prime directive
391. Vulcanizing the whoopee stick
392. Waka-waka
393. Waxing ass
394. Wetting the willy
395. Whitewashing the picket fence
396. Whittling the love branch
397. Wiggling the toothpick
398. Yentzing
399. Yiffing
400. Zig-Zagging TC mark


Read Jim Goad’s terrifying yet amusing ebook about fending off fans turned stalkers.

Headache-Factory-Final

Powered by Revcontent

Poetry Lovers! 💖

Love a soft person. The ones who are positive, even in the worst of circumstances. Someone whose strength is not in bravado, but in their quiet. Someone who is strong for others because that is what is needed in that moment. Someone who is the moon that soothes instead of the sun that burns. Someone who sees the very best in people even when you think they aren’t worth it. The kind of person who always wants to do the best for those they love.”

“I bought this on a whim to read as I was resting for the night, and I do not regret it one bit! Everything about the poetry in this book is amazing, heart breaking, and soul searching. It will lift your spirits on your darkest days. I want to thank the author so much for writing this, as it’s something I will be rereading a lot! Always remember, everything about you is important. You matter.” —McKayla

Click to heal your heart

More From Thought Catalog

400 Euphemisms For Sexual Intercourse is cataloged in , , ,
  • http://ofnrforever.com/1-06-2015-indie-180-kevin-mf-king/ 1.06.2015 – Indie 180 – Kevin MF King | Official FN Radio
  • http://unsettledchristianity.com/2015/02/better-50-shades-grey/ the better 50 Shades of Grey - Unsettled Christianity

    […] time, the deed, “it”, romp time, hump day, the no pants dance, mattress dancing and a lot more. […]

  • https://topendofaverage.wordpress.com/2015/03/20/fifty-shades-chapter-6-in-which-itsrane-is-sure-james-is-delusional/ Fifty Shades: Chapter 6. In which Itsrane is sure James is delusional | Top End of Average

    […] here’s a fucking list, just say […]

  • https://zoedezign.wordpress.com/2015/06/27/should-adult-naptime-happen-before-or-after-going-steady/ should “adult naptime” happen before or after “going steady”? | dezign

    […] made it through this whole blurb, I needed some help coming up with a witty title and found this page of euphemisms. Enjoy my lovely […]

  • http://endtimesprophecyreport.com/2015/11/28/5-great-sins-of-the-end-times-fornication/ 5 Great Sins of the End Times: FORNICATION | End Times Prophecy Report

    […] There are hundreds. […]

  • https://justaddtea.wordpress.com/2016/01/02/new-terms-for-the-new-year/ New Terms for the New Year | Just Add Tea

    […] The euphemisms for sex are getting more vulgar instead of more pleasant. This is backwards. A quick Google search can help you find tons throughout the ages, but there’s a pretty comprehensive list over at Thought Catalog… […]

  • https://thelittledeathisabigo.wordpress.com/2016/04/30/stuck-up-suit/ STUCK UP SUIT | The Little Death Is A Big O

    […] forested chasm’ (no, I’m not kidding, that’s a real euphemism for sex. Find more here), things got bumpy in the best possible […]

  • https://fridayafternoondrinksdotcom.wordpress.com/2016/05/13/follow-your-dreams/ Follow Your Dreams… – Friday Afternoon Drinks

    […] May 13, 2016 — Graduation weekend in Fayetteville makes us harken back to the best seven years of our lives. For many of our members, this weekend now belongs to their children as they watch them make that life-transforming walk.  And it might even be the year L. Nick Gowen passes Principles of Philosophy, and finally moves his tassel from the right to left side of his mortar board (if you know what I mean). […]

  • http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/294810/science-found-237-reasons-why-people-have-sex/ Science has found 237 reasons why people have sex!

    […] time (and no one to “test the suspension” with), check out this perfectly repulsive Thought Catalog list of sexual euphemisms. You’ll never want to…torpedo the eel…ever again. At least […]

  • https://lgbt2.com/nothing-serious-i-am-drinking-vodka-feminismlol-unriggingthegame/ Nothing serious, I am drinking vodka #FeminismLOL #UnriggingTheGame - LGBT2

    […] robots euphemisms for sex 400 Euphemisms For Sexual Intercourse red robots link to channel […]

  • https://saalgac278.wordpress.com/2016/11/15/ideas-in-context-assignment-progress-term-4-week-5/ IDEAS IN CONTEXT / Assignment Progress / Term 4, Week 5 – musings of the mind
  • http://the-martyan-chronicles.com/2016/02/09/romantic-adjectives/ Sexy Romantic Adjectives – The Martyan Chronicles

    […] Euphemisms for Sexual Intercouse […]

  • https://aedrecantrell.wordpress.com/2016/11/22/euphemisms-or-how-i-learned-to-stop-worrying-and-love-my-lady-gardenlaa-laafoofhoo-haa/ Euphemisms, (or how I learned to stop worrying and love my lady garden/laa-laa/foof/hoo-haa) | Aedre Cantrell, Writer of Sexy Things
blog comments powered by Disqus