What’s. The. Deal. With. One. Word. Sentences?

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Featureflash / Shutterstock.com

Can. Anyone. Tell. Me. Why. So. Many. People. Have. An. Annoying. Habit. Of. Writing. Each. Word. As. A. Sentence. As. If. That. Somehow. Makes. It. More. Emphatic?

Monica. Lewinsky. Who. Is. Famous. For. Letting. President. Bill. Clinton. Insert. Either. A. Cigar. Or. A. Cigar. Tube. Into. Her. Vagina. Depending. On. Which. Online. Source. You. Believe. Recently. Wrote. An. Article. That. Includes. This. Passage:

I. Myself. Deeply. Regret. What. Happened.

Would. She. Regret. It. Less. If. Every. Fucking. Word. Wasn’t. Its. Own. Sentence?

And. Why. Even. Include. The. Word. “Myself.” When. She’d. Already. Used. “I?” Isn’t. That. Redundant?

Wow. Just. Wow.

Do. The. People. Who. Do. This. Suffer. From. Some. Sort. Of. Neurological. Disorder. That. Makes. Them. Pause. Between. Every. Goddamned. Word?

Or. Are. They. Completely. Non. Verbal. Like. Stephen. Hawking. And. Thus. Have. To. Type. Out. Each. Word. On. A. Machine. By. Batting. Their. Eyelashes. Or. Something?

I. Only. Have. One. Word. To. Say. To. Such. People:


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Jim Goad

Stop worrying about good and bad...and start thinking about true and false.

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