The Black Market For Positive Pregnancy Tests

Ami Parikh /
Ami Parikh /

Hey, ladies!

Is he afraid to commit? Have you been going out with him for years…or weeks…and he hasn’t popped the question? Are you slimy and skeezy and shystie enough to think it’s a good idea to pretend you’re pregnant so you can lasso him into marrying you?

Well, I’ve got good news for you. There are pregnant women all over the country ready to help you. And it will run you roughly the cost of two delivered pizzas plus tip.

Prank or fool your boyfriend with this positive ptegnancy [sic] test.

For prices ranging from around $15 to $35, you can meet a pregnant, money-hungry stranger in a parking lot, give them a store-bought pregnancy test or two, wait for them to go pee on the little plastic white sticks in the bathroom, then hand the positive test result to your BF…and BOOM! Wedding bells, gurrl! By the time he realizes you’re not pregnant, you can divorce him and take half his money.

Now that is capitalism and American free enterprise in action! Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Stop worrying about good and bad…and start thinking about true and false.

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