Shortly before 3PM EST today, just as Barack Obama was about to announce his new Housing Secretary at a White House conference, a chubby middle-aged man walked up to the gates outside 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and removed all of his clothes.
After allowing several onlookers to snap photos of him, the Secret Service tackled him to the ground and hauled away in a van, where he will likely undergo extensive questioning as well as a possible anal probe.
It is unknown whether this was some form of political protest or if the man was merely hot. Current temperature in DC is only 80 degrees, so I’m going with “political protest.”
Happy Memorial Day weekend, everyone! And remember to use sunscreen!