Should Germans Be Allowed To Go Nude?

Tony Bowler /
Tony Bowler /

Highly problematic news from the land of Hitler: The city of Munich, Germany, has set aside a half-dozen “Urban Naked Zones” that will allow Aryan sunbathers the right to prance about naked in the city as if there was absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Germans, who are genetically descended directly from Neanderthals and barbarians, have been big on public nudity for centuries. Their animal-like compulsion to disrobe in public even blossomed into a movement called “Freikörperkultur (FKK)” which, when translated into the American tongue, means “Free Body Culture.”

But how free, truly, were all the people in those concentration camps?

I will pause to note the disturbing similarity between the acronym “FKK” and the initials for a racist Southern organization that thinks it’s a cool idea to go around lynching people. I will pause a moment further to note that when Germans get their “movements” going, they ultimately wreak devastation upon the rest of this planet that we all share.

In the early Nazi era, nude sunbathing was hugely popular among German Volk until famous Nazi Hermann Göring—worried that the practice would demoralize the public and lead to rampant in-your-face deviance—passed restrictive anti-nudist laws in 1933. A year later, a less-famous Nazi named Wilhelm Frick passed further put-on-yer-clothes laws allegedly due to his fear that “naturist” areas would become “a breeding ground for Marxists and homosexuals.”

But the Germans just couldn’t seem to keep their clothes on, and so Frick’s ban only lasted a month. The Nazis worked out a deal that would make everyone except Jews and homosexuals happy. From that point forth, all nudist clubs were required to register with the German Reich, and soon the naked Nazis returned, their dangling bratwursts flapping haughtily in the wind.

I realize that correlation does not always equal causation. Having said that, I will also note that Hitler’s evil government officially approved of public nudity in the 1930s.

And then look what happened.

Sure, they may only be nude today. But tomorrow they may wake up and try to take over the world again. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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