Thought Catalog

Fun Vagina Facts

  • 0

Canyon cunt

The largest vagina ever recorded is thought to have belonged to seven-foot eight-inch Anna Swan (1846-1888), a long-legged Scottish temptress who once plopped out a 26-pound baby, the biggest bambino recorded in world history. Although I was unable to uncover any recorded evidence of her vagina’s exact dimensions, it’s safe to assume you could comfortably fit a flat-screen TV in there.

Tiny ‘gineys

The annals of medicine are crammed with accounts of women whose functional adult vaginas were less than an inch in depth. Other women are born with little dents in the pubic area rather than fully developed vaginas. Extensive surgery, lubrication, and patience can help ameliorate this problem. The smallest vaginas, though, are the ones that don’t even exist. Roughly one in 5,000 female babies are born sans vagina. How, then, do doctors know they’re female? I suppose because they complain a lot. But surgeons are now able to fashion fake vaginas for these unfortunate infants.

Women are so sensitive

Although most clitorises are far smaller than most penises, they contain twice as many nerve endings as the larger, dumber male organ.

Clits are big enough to be dicks

In 1744, Sir Edward Home described a native woman in the West Indies whose clitoris, when aroused, was three inches long and thicker than a thumb. Around the same time, a Swiss biologist claims to have examined a gal whose swee’pea measured a robust seven inches. And an 1813 account in a French encyclopedia mentions a woman with a 12-inch clitoris resembling “the neck of a goose.”

I got buddha in my vagina

Eastern religions seem generally more cunt-friendly than those in the vadge-hating West. For example, Tantric Buddhism pinpoints the essence of Buddhahood—it nestles within a woman’s private parts. And the word “cunt” is derived from Cunti, one of many titles accorded Hinduism’s bitch-goddess Kali.

Cock stranglers

Although the legend of “vagina dentata”—a pussy with teeth poised to rip off the male organ—is known to be a myth, there is some evidence that certain women have vaginal muscles strong enough to clamp down on the male organ and prevent it from withdrawing. Known clinically as penis captivus, it is thought to be caused by involuntary spasms in the levator ani muscles deep in the vagina, which hold onto the penis head and refuse to let it go until it pays child support.

Twice the darkness

In rare cases women are born with two vaginas, which, one presumes, would make them twice as annoying.

Orgasms are good for you

Orgasms alleviate menstrual cramps because the force of the special moment’s muscular contractions helps cleanse the woman’s dainty bits of the gunky fluids that accrete during her cycle. Orgasms also cure headaches because they release endorphins into the bloodstream.

Girl Juices

Like the eye, the vagina is a self-cleaning organ. During a normal menstrual cycle, a woman’s vagina will spew forth a total of two to six tablespoons of blood. During ovulation, her punani will burp up one or two teaspoons of liquid discharge in order to clear the cervix of dead cells. The rest of the month, her cooter will spit forth only a half-teaspoon of fluid per day.

A germ-infested slime pit

The average human girl-gash is host to 15 different strains of bacteria, “good germs” designed to ward off the renegade “bad germs” which can invade a vagina and make life hell for everyone.

Scientists for bush

Some physiologists argue that hairy vaginas prevent friction and create a pleasant cushioning effect during intercourse. A full bush can also retain vaginal odors that some men find enticing. The longest female pubic hair on record measured 28 inches, which is pushing it.

One happy snapper

The world record for most orgasms belongs to a dame who came 134 times in one hour. The longest continuous female orgasm clocked in at 43 seconds and featured 25 contractions.

I thought it was a fire extinguisher

The Hite Report…uh…reported that the phallic object used most often by female masturbators is the candle.

New hope for men with one-inch dicks

The first inch of the vaginal canal is by far the most “pleasure-receptive,” according to Los Angeles sexologist Patti Britton.

A CUNT by any Other Name

A list of several delightful words and phrases to use when you really mean to say “vagina”

ABYSS, THE
BEARDED CLAM
BEEF CURTAINS
BIRTH CANNON
BLACK BESS
BLUEBEARD’S CLOSET
BONE YARD
BUM FIDDLE
BUTTER BOAT
CABBAGE FIELD
CAPE HORN
CATCHER’S MITT
CLOVEN TUFT
COCK SOCKET
COD CANAL
COOTER
CRADLE OF FILTH
CREASE
CROTCH COBBLER
CUM DUMPSTER
DEAD-END STREET
DICK SHARPENER
DOODLE SACK
EEL SKINNER
FANCY BIT
FISH FACTORY
FLAMING LIPS
FLESH TUXEDO
FLYTRAP
FOOFY BIRD
FUN TUNNEL
FURBACK TURTLE
GOLDFINCH’S NEST
GOO POT
GRAVY BOAT
GRINDSTONE
GUTTED HAMSTER
HAIRY MANILOW
HAPPY VALLEY
HIDEY HOLE
HOO-HA
JACK STRAW’S CASTLE
KNOB GOBBLER
LADY JANE
LAPLAND
LOBSTER CLAW
MADGE
MAGPIE’S NEST
MANHOLE
MAP OF TASMANIA
MARK OF THE BEAST
MEAT MUFFIN
MOOSE KNUCKLE
MOTHER OF ALL SOULS
MOUNT PLEASANT
MUSTARD POT
ORGAN GRINDER
PECAN PATTIE
PENIS PENITENTIARY
PERIWINKLE
PINK CANOE
PUNANI
PIPE CLEANER
PRICK PURSE
QUIVERING QUIM
RED-HAIRED LASS
ROCKET POCKET
RUSTY AXE WOUND
SACAPUNTAS
SALT CELLAR
SAUSAGE WALLET
SCABBARD
SILK IGLOO
SKUNK GUTS
SLOBBERING BULLDOG
SMELLY JELLY HOLE
SNAKE CHARMER
SOUTH POLE
SNAPPER
SPERM HARBOR
SPLIT KNISH
STENCH TRENCH
STICKY BUN
SUGAR BASIN
TAFFY PULLER
TINKLEFLOWER
TROUT BASKET
TUNA TACO
TWAT WAFFLE
UNDER-DIMPLE
VADGE
VERTICAL GRIMACE
VELVET GLOVE
WEENIE WRINGER
WHISKER BISCUIT
WILLY WASHER
WOUND THAT NEVER HEALS, THE
YA-YA
YEAST CAKE
YONI
YUM-YUM TC mark

Check out Thought Catalog Books anthology “Girls?” by clicking here.

image –Shutterstock
Powered by Revcontent

I asked women to tell the story behind one of their Instagram photos 📸

“This is me on the roof of my building forcing myself to laugh. Every time I make my best friend take photos of me I remember that I’ve been single for 5 years and don’t have anyone to be in the photo with me. I’m just alone. My hair looks good though.”

This is the reality of Instagram...

More From Thought Catalog

Fun Vagina Facts is cataloged in , , , , ,
  • http://www.itmakesmestronger.com/2013/08/fun-vagina-facts-2/ Only L<3Ve @ ItMakesMeStronger.com

    […] Thought Catalog » Love & Sex […]

  • http://eagleradio97.wordpress.com/2013/08/30/the-8-weirdest-things-women-have-hidden-in-their-vaginas/ The 8 Weirdest Things Women Have Hidden In Their Vaginas | Eagle Online

    […] Fun Vagina Facts (thoughtcatalog.com) […]

  • Illumanati666

    Support this.

    Please refer to his blog for HD videos and Pictures from different paid porn sites updated one off course.

    https://gonewildpic.wordpress.com

  • http://parkthatcar.net/2013/09/03/my-farewell-to-thought-catalog/ My Farewell to Thought Catalog | Park(er) That Car

    […] Fun Vagina Facts […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/what-your-genitals-might-say-about-you/ What Your Genitals Might Say About You | Thought Catalog

    […] The pussy is the main part of the woman that you have sex with or put fingers in. Very much like a boner, when a woman is aroused by a man’s penis or his fingers, the pussy will make juice that leaks out. Most women’s pussies will often have some base level of moisture in them, but some women are completely dry. Women with naturally dry pussies tend to enjoy speaking truth to power and blogging. […]

  • http://vaginaantics.com/2013/09/20/friday-links-with-some-penis-twerking/ Friday Links (with some penis twerking) | Vagina Antics Friday Links (with some penis twerking) | Sometimes sweet. Always naughty.

    […] Fun Vagina Facts – I read this article under the assumption it would be fun, because you know, it has “fun” in the title. It wasn’t fun, and I didn’t laugh even once. Mostly what I wanted to do was pussy punch the dude who wrote it. Maybe it’s because my vagina is nearing it’s “spew forth” time. Or maybe it’s because he’s a douchebag. It’s a toss-up. […]

    • http://observationsofadreamer.wordpress.com Observations Of A Dreamer

      Hear, hear!

  • http://www.hun.is/pikur-nokkrar-stadreyndir-gaman-og-alvara/ Píkur – Nokkrar staðreyndir – gaman og alvara ‹ Hún.is

    […] Heimild […]

  • SkankAngel

    Reblogged this on SkankAngel.

  • http://toughcookiemagazine.wordpress.com/2013/10/24/what-i-whore-for-halloween-11-costume-ideas/ What I w(h)ore for Halloween *11 Costume Ideas | ToughCookieMagazine

    […] want to break the  myth of men being the best cooks. 6. Pussy Riot – Check the link. 7. Vagina – Because we are proud. 8. Piece of Meat“an unintelligent male who tends to be a bit of a […]

  • http://www.muslimsplace.com/blogs/post/805 great landscaping ideas

    great landscaping ideas

    Fun Vagina Facts | Thought Catalog

  • http://howtobegreek.com/33-hilariously-mind-blowing-vagina-facts-you-need-to-know-asap/ 33 Hilariously Mind-Blowing Vagina Facts You Need To Know ASAP - How To Be Greek

    […] Huffington Post, StudentBeans, Women’s Health, Men’s Health, Huffington Post, Thought Catalog, Psychology […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/eden-strong/2015/09/5-surprising-things-about-sex-i-discovered-from-cleaning-houses/ 5 Surprising Things About Sex I Discovered From Cleaning Houses | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: Turn Up The Heat In The Bedroom With This Modern Sex Guide Read this: 13 Desperate Men Explain Why They Go To Strip Clubs Read this: 25 Couples On The Weird Things They Do Together When No One’s Looking Read this: 15 Men Confess The Body Issue They Secretly Struggle With Read this: 36 Women Describe What Sexual Arousal Feels Like (NSFW) Read this: 23 Weird & Disturbing Sex Facts You Really Didn’t Need To Know Read this: An Open Letter To All Of My Friends Who Take Selfies Read this:Fun Vagina Facts […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/brenda-della-casa/2015/09/25-painfully-obvious-things-women-wish-men-knew-about-sex/ 25 Painfully Obvious Things Women Wish Men Knew About Sex | Thought Catalog

    […] No One’s Looking Read this: Sultry Stories That’ll Spice Up Your Sex Life (Guaranteed!) Read this:Fun Vagina Facts Read this: A Beginners Guide To Hot and Steamy Sex Games Read this:13 Women Describe What Their […]

blog comments powered by Disqus