1. Turn your phone off. Go outside. Make some tea. Read a book. Step away from the virtual world and go live in the real one.
2. Remember that Anne Lamott’s “almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you” is some sage fucking advice that you should follow.
3. To reiterate: put down phone. Fresh air in lungs. Hot beverage in hand.
4. Come back from your break refreshed and rejuvenated and feeling like an actual human.
5. Not refreshed or rejuvenated? Repeat step one.
6. Now that you’ve gotten a bit of a break, examine your relationship with sosh meeds. Is this adding to your life or subtracting? Are you feeling empowered or defeated?
7. Set some boundaries. Examples: No Insta after 8 PM. Delete apps from your phone. Put your phone in airplane mode while out with friends. Sleep with it in a different room. You know, just give yourself a break from time to time,
8. Remember that comparison, while natural, is the thief of all joy.
9. That being said, envy is useful because it tells us what we really want.
10. This is useful information. Why are we jealous of the people we are jealous of? Why are you comparing yourself to this stranger? What do they have that you want?
11. Just because someone has what you want doesn’t mean that you can never have it.
12. #Abundance and all that.
13. Ask yourself: do you even really want the thing? Do you really care about it? Or do you just want the likes? Because you’ve gotta like your own life, sweet heart. No amount of tiny hearts can make up for the one that’s beating inside your chest.
14. Remember that you’re not seeing the whole story. This is a heavily edited highlight reel. IRL doesn’t come with filters. It’s grainy and out of focus and fucking boring sometimes.
15. It’s also hard. No one Instagrams their breakdowns on the bathroom floor.
16. No one tweets about the fight they just had with their mother. (Unless it’s funny).
17. It’s not real, is what I’m saying.
18. Or maybe it’s real, but it’s not complete. You’re not seeing the whole picture. You don’t know someone just because you stalk them online.
19. And you don’t know what it took for someone to get to where they are. You didn’t see the process, you’re just viewing the end result. Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.
20. Still being triggered? Just freaking unfollow them. Life’s too short to feel like shit because a makeup Youtube vlogger’s got great lips.
21. Repeat this mantra you to yourself: this is a stranger on the internet. I know nothing about them or their life.
22. Make a gratitude list and force yourself to remember why you’re freaking awesome.
23. Call a friend and bitch about the fact that you can’t stop comparing yourself to random people on the internet. Find solace in the fact that this happens to everyone and you’re not nearly as pathetic as you think you are.
24. Delete your account. Will the world keep spinning? Dare to find out.
25. Go back outside. Open your eyes. This is the world.