It may surprise you to know that I, Jillian Paulson, am in a relationship. A committed one, where we say “love” sometimes. I know, it’s crazy. I’ve never been much of a relationships girl, with most of them fizzling out around the six-month mark. But as of right now, I’m in a lovey-dovey phase and I can’t help but notice that the way you view sex changes from hookup to hooked-together.
1. Tinder is a thing of the past. I mean, if you met on Tinder, that’s pretty cute and all, but now that you’re in love you never have to open that app again.
2. Sometimes you truly do have those weird soap opera moments where everything’s all misty and you look at each other with mushy doe eyes as you fuck.
3. You’re more likely to have sex at your childhood home. You just are.
4. You don’t have to depend on the “You up?” text anymore. Now, when you want to get laid, you can just reach over and stick your hand in his boxers.
5. When you’re coupled up, you spend a lot of time together. When you’re hooking up, you definitely don’t. This means that sex becomes a lot more spontaneous than the “Hey, come over” bang sessions you’re used to.
6. Of course, the longer you’re together, the less frequent the boning becomes. This can be an adjustment to those of us who were used to sexy marathons with our partner of choice.
7. Sometimes, your dude doing something nice for you (like picking up groceries or buying you a steak dinner) is just as good as having sex with him. I’m serious.
8. You’ll get to know each other way more intimately. In my single days, dudes never saw me without makeup and cute lingerie. Now, it’s more like “I need you to leave a washcloth here for me to get lipstick all over when I wash my face, and can I sleep in your sweatpants?” It just makes getting all lingerie’d up more fun, really, because it’s a surprise.
9. The person you love isn’t sexy to you all the time. Weird, right? Your clit doesn’t vibrate with anticipation every time you see them the way it did with your favorite hookup of yore, but you do get a little woozy behind your knees when they tell you they love you, so it evens out.
10. However, sometimes they’ll be doing some super-mundane thing like working on a project or reading a magazine and you’ll be overcome with lust solely because you’re like, head over heels in love with this person.
11. The weird stuff that happens during sex is less embarrassing when you’re with someone you love. You don’t have to worry that your cellulite is showing or your stomach is making a strange noise because you know that they love you and aren’t here just to get their rocks off. Plus, your ass is fabulous.
12. The sex might be less inventive and creative, but at least you know how to get each other off quickly and dependably. I’d trade a guaranteed orgasm for sexual gymnastics anytime, wouldn’t you?
13. Your old flames will be chomping at the bit as soon as they even expect you’re unavailable to them. Dudes you didn’t think you’d ever bone again come crawling out of the woodwork when you’re attached to someone else. It must be weird animal signals.
14. There’s no need to entice someone to come over and fool around with you, whether that’s with suggestive texts or sexy photos of your bra. The person you wanna bone is probably sitting right next to you as you read this.
15. You get nostalgic for all the fun sex you had while you were single, but you’d also never go back there willingly. It wasn’t all roses and vibrators and black lacy thongs, you know. Now you have the best excuse of all: “Sorry, I can’t! I’m too busy fucking my boyfriend. We’re in love, you know!” 
