If you’re a sexually active girl and you don’t have this one magical product on hand at all times, I don’t know what to tell you. No, it’s not condoms, or birth control pills, or lube, though you should have all of those in your nightstand 24/7, too.
Rather, it’s my greatest discovery of my entire life, the best thing Amazon has ever given me besides fast-as-fuck shipping: D-Mannose powder.
This little supplement powder, $15 a bottle, has changed the sex game for me forever.
You see, I’m one of those poor unfortunate souls who gets UTIs in the blink of an eye. It’s bullshit. I pee before AND after sex and interrupt sexy and sweet moments because I have to piss immediately. There is no post-sex cuddling with me ‘cause I’m running to the bathroom and doing multiplication tables in my brain to get the pee to trickle out. I do everything I’m supposed to do to prevent them, but the sad truth is that some girls are just built in such a way that a UTI is always lurking right around the corner after they bone.
Oh, and it gets worse – once I get one, it lasts forever. I’m talking around a month. That’s at least two trips to a doctor to get more medicine. That’s a whole lot of blaze orange pee courtesy AZO numbing tablets. That is GALLONS of water to drink.
I kept going back and forth between my gyno and Target Quick Clinic. It was a bust towards the end, because I’d taken the giant pills and consumed the cranberry juice (the bitter, real kind, not the kind you mix with vodka) and practiced obsessive hygiene and nothing was working. I still felt like I had to piss every two minutes.
“You don’t have any presence of UTI bacteria or any STDs,” they would say all dry and distant. “We can’t prescribe anything for you anymore.”
“BUT I FEEL LIKE I HAVE ONE STILL!” I would yelp. “YOUR DUMB MEDICINE ISN’T WORKING ANYWAY.”
“You might have interstital cystitis,” said my doctor. “You might want to go to a urologist to get tested.”
“LIKE HELL I WILL!” I said to myself and went to the computer to look it up. Oh, it was bad. Sex was never going to be fun for me ever again. I was going to have this pee problem for the rest of my life if I had interstitial cystitis! I read like a million message boards and got more and more paranoid about my fate. “Fuck this shit!” I said, beating my little fists on the desk. “I am gonna try homeopathy!”
And that’s where I learned about my beloved, D-Mannose. Several women who, like me, suffered from chronic UTIs mentioned the supplement powder and called it their Holy Grail.
D-Mannose is a naturally-occuring simple sugar, sort of like glucose. It’s really good at clearing E. coli out of your system; I’m not talking the uncooked food, icky kind of E. coli, but the kind that occurs naturally in our bodies. Those fuckers can mess you up and give you UTIs that last forever, like I had. When you drink it, it helps flush that bad bacteria out every time you pee. Bye bye, jerks! There aren’t any side effects that I’ve read about or experienced besides an upset stomach if you take too much.
D-Mannose powder is available on Amazon, and I reorder it once a month. I take a teaspoon of it mixed with water almost every time I have sex, especially when I feel like a UTI might be brewing. I cannot live without it. Read the reviews. Stop taking cranberry supplements and fuck with a real king – D-Mannose.