Back in the day when I was significantly more slutty than I am now, I had a habit of keeping a little black leather pouch in my purse at all times, just in case I ended up in a foreign environment – aka some dude’s house/bed.
The thing is, when you’re young and fun and prone to the occasional hookup but you still have a full-time job you need to be professional and pretty for, keeping a Sleepover Kit is kind of a must. You don’t need to pack it full of stuff, but a few key pieces will get you from hookup to work posthaste.
This is numero uno importante. (OK, I don’t know Spanish.) Get the duo pack of toothbrushes at Target and keep one with you. Nothing is grosser than waking up in the morning (probably) hungover with the taste of Taco Bell and jizz in your mouth, and if you have places to go post-hookup, nothing’s gonna clean that better than a good ol’ toothbrushing. Trust that your hookup with have toothpaste, and if they don’t, never fool around with them again. Gross.
2. An all-in-one lip/cheek color
I like Clinique’s Chubby Sticks, which are technically lip colors but can blend easily into a little bit of blush. Brighten up your face with a little rosy color (the kind you get post-orgasm, girl) and do the same to your lips. An additional bonus? They’re super portable and fit in the teeniest clutch.
3. A pony holder
If you have long hair, you need to travel with at least three hair binders at all times so in binds – haha – like this, you can just whip your hair up into a topknot or messy chignon/braid instead of rocking the post-missionary volume. If you have short hair like me, hope you have some bobby pins and a brush!
4. A tiny pot of hardcore concealer
Do you have a favorite style from, say, MAC? Go to the counter and ask the makeup artist for a little sample pot of your fave stuff. Carry it around with you for touchups in a pinch – you know, dark circles, giant zits that pop up because you didn’t wash your face last week when you stayed at Dude A’s house … the usual.
5. Perfume sample
Nothing screams “I JUST HAD SEX” like that particular odor you carry with you post-bone session. If you don’t have time to shower – and knowing dudes, you may not trust their shower cleanliness – then keep a sample of your favorite scent with you and spritz lightly on your way out the door. Don’t go crazy with the perfume, though, because people are gonna know what’s up. Just a little spritz will cover up the musky scent of sex. (I just grossed myself out writing that, sorry.)
6. A mini-pack of wet wipes
JUST IN CASE, girl. Also handy for wiping off old makeup if you’re feeling ambitious.
7. A smudgy eyeliner/kohl
This works to tidy up last night’s smoky eyes while still looking intentional, like perhaps you were just trying a new, edgy eyeliner style today! Every drugstore brand makes a good soft kohl pencil, though I do prefer navy or purple for daytime activities. It’s a little more subtle than black. You can use mascara as liner in a pinch, though it’s hard to apply a fresh coat of mascara on top of last night’s caked-up mess. Just blend and pray!