9 Kinds Of Men, And What Perfume To Wear To Seduce Them


They say scent can be one of the most powerful attractants. I’m totally down with this, because when a man smells like outside and soap, I’m always like “Damn baby, get in me right now.” So if you want your man to bone your brains out, here’s the fragrance you should wear.

If he’s super-basic: I’ve noticed basic men go wild for shit like DKNY Be Delicious and Britney Spears Fantasy. They still secretly want you to smell like the freshman you once were giving them a sad handjob in some dorm room. It’ll remind them of their frat-boy glory days, smelling your fruity, immature perfume, and then they’ll get hard thinking of when they were king of the campus. (In their head, anyway.)

If he’s a big burly man: These dudes lose their shit for scents like cotton candy and vanilla. If he works with his hands or does hard labor, all he wants is for you to smell sweet, warm and inviting. Acquolina Pink Sugar is all you need, but I’ve found that cheap vanilla body splash from Walmart gets ‘em going too,

If he’s a momma’s boy: Find something similar to what she wears. Gross, right? But I dated a dude once whose mom wore Angel, like I did, and he was super into it. IDK. If it was his fantasy to bone someone like his mom, then I’m glad I fulfilled that.

If he’s outdoorsy: He wants you to smell like soap, but not Bath & Body Works body wash. It’s the expensive kind that lingers on your skin, like Aveda or Tocca or something like that. He doesn’t want you to smell like perfume, but he will totally be all up in you if you smell like clean hair and fancy soap.

If he’s literary: Roses. Always roses. How Henry James, how Edith Wharton of you. Jo Malone makes a good basic rose scent.

If he’s a sensitive poet type: He wants you to wear a loud, noticeable perfume so when you leave him after three days of passion, he’ll smell it on his pillows and memorialize you via your scent in sappy poems and short stories.

If he’s really into porn: All you need to do is walk into Victoria’s Secret and buy every body splash you can find. Or their perfumes, which are all named shit like “Bombshell” and “Sexy Little Things.” If strippers buy their scents there- and they do- they’re good to go for porn-hound dude’s palette. He wants you to smell ultra-slick and feminine but in a plastic, inauthentic way. Like, if dude ever got a big whiff of “unwashed girl” he would be so freaked out he couldn’t deal with it. Nah, he wants you to wear sanitized shit like Victoria’s Secret.

If he’s too cool for school: This dude would be down with you wearing “weird” fragrances like Shalimar, which smells very “old lady” to our noses used to super clean and boring fruity florals. He wants his chick wearing vetiver and bergamot and maybe even his cologne, which is probably some brand you’ve never heard of like Etat Libre d’Orange.

Stoner dudes: Patchouli. Duh. Just buy patchouli oil from the co-op. That’s it. Done. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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