5 Things To Keep In Mind When You’re Grieving And Feel Utterly Lost In Life

5 Things To Keep In Mind When You're Grieving And Feel Utterly Lost In Life
Daniel Mingook Kim

Dec. 11th will mark 3 years since I lost my dad. It was very unexpected which made it even more difficult to grasp. After he passed I was the one in charge of dealing with all of the legal things which left really no room to properly grieve. For the last 3 years my life has spiraled in and out of good times and also some of the darkest. His passing brought out everything in me that I had been holding on since I was a child.

Then over this last summer I hit rock bottom. And the truth is, it happens just like that, at some point life slaps all of us with a reminder that shifts our perspective. Personally, I have been slapped with several of these reminders over the years. And today, I want to pass a few of them along to you…

1. Everything that happens helps you grow, even if it’s hard to see right now.

Circumstances will direct you, correct you, and perfect you over time. Sometimes these circumstances knock you down, hard. There will be times when it seems like everything that could possibly go wrong is going wrong. And you might feel like you will be stuck in this rut forever, but you won’t. When you feel like quitting, remember that sometimes things have to go very wrong before they can be right. Sometimes you have to go through the worst, to arrive at your best. Because our most significant opportunities are often found in times of great difficulty. Thus, you will face your greatest opposition when you are closest to your biggest miracle.

2. The way you feel about people and situations will shift, and that’s OK.

Things will seem totally different to you at some point in the future, just as you feel different now than you did in the past. So remember, just because you liked something at one point in time doesn’t mean you’ll always like it, or that you have to go on liking it at all points in the future as an act of loyalty to who you are as a person, based solely on who you once were as a person. To be loyal to yourself is to allow yourself to grow and change, and challenge who you once were and what you once thought. The only thing you ever have to be for sure is unsure, and this means you’re growing, and not stagnant or shrinking.

3. There will always be more tough changes to make.

Growth is painful. Change is painful. But in the end, nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you do not belong. Again, you’re not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or a week ago. You’re always growing. Experiences don’t stop. That’s life. It takes a great deal of courage to admit that something needs to change, and a lot more courage still, to accept the responsibility for making the change happen. But doing so is worth every bit of effort you can muster.

4. Those who complain the most, accomplish the least.

It’s always better to attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed. It’s not over if you’ve lost; it’s over when you do nothing but complain about it. If you believe in something, keep trying. Don’t let the shadows of the past darken the doorstep of your future. Spending today complaining about yesterday won’t make tomorrow any brighter. Take action instead. And regardless of what happens in the long run, remember that true happiness begins to arrive only when you stop complaining about your problems and you start being grateful for all the problems you don’t have.

5. The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.

The mind is your battleground. It’s the place where the greatest conflict resides. It’s where half of the things you thought were going to happen, never did happen. But if you allow these thoughts to dwell in your mind, they will succeed in robbing you of peace, joy, and ultimately your life. You will think yourself into a nervous breakdown, into depression, and into defeat. You are what you think. You can’t change anything if you can’t change your thinking. A beautiful day begins with a beautiful mindset. When you wake up, take a second to think about what a privilege it is to simply be alive and healthy. Breathe onto the bathroom mirror, just to see how amazing your breath looks. The moment you start acting like life is a blessing, I assure you it will start to feel like one. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Lessons on love, life, pain, and much more.

Keep up with Jillian on Instagram, Twitter and Website

More From Thought Catalog