I don’t understand Snapchat.
This is the first time in my 27 years of life that I can empathize with my grandfather who boldly announces he’s not going to learn how to use email, he’ll just have someone print off his inbox for him every day, thank you very much.
I tell myself that Snapchat is different than email.
Email is a necessity. It’s how we work and communicate and exist as a society. Snapchat is a fad for teenagers that will hopefully pass very, very soon. Before-I-have-to-figure-it-out soon.
I first got Snapchat a few years ago, and by typing that phrase I am sadly realizing this may not be a passing movement.
I downloaded the app at someone’s behest and promptly forgot about it. I ended up deleting it in one of my biweekly “no storage available” purges.
I redownloaded it a few months later when someone asked if I was getting their chats.
Is that what we call them? Chats?
I opened my Snapchat to find three waiting chats, all from boys I was dating when I first downloaded the app.
Whoa! Selfie! I turned to show my friend and it was gone.
OK. I knew that. I knew that it would disappear.
“Haha,” I texted someone. “Remember John? He sent me a selfie snapchatty six months ago!”
And then that was it.
I still get snapchats occasionally despite my clear non-use of the app. Sometimes I think they are personalized. Sometimes I think it’s sent to everyone in that friend’s “story.” Like when I get a snap of lunch from a girl I interned with two summer’s ago. I’m pretty sure that was meant for everyone.
But how do I know? I don’t even know where to find the story.
Or what the story really is.
What’s the story?! I’m getting stressed thinking about it.
I know how to open a Snapchat.
Theoretically I know how to send a message, though, I once responded to someone’s chat, couldn’t figure out how to use text and so wrote with my index finger in a huge marker HAHA. I vowed never to again.
And yet, the phenomenon grows. More and more I see people adding a little ghost to their social media bios as though that’s now suddenly an important account for us to follow. Children ages 10-18 tell me it’s not about the Instagram it’s about the Snapchat.
I hear this and I can’t help but think:
Oh please. Let this one pass.
Just print out my shappychattys for me every day, someone.
Also, pass the Preparation H.