These people are the Hansels and Gretels of the gym, leaving a trail of moisture wherever they go. Everyone loves the feeling of sitting down for a leg press, only to feel the unmistakable slippery wetness left by a previous user seep into your shorts. Be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.
There’s possibly nothing more frustrating, obnoxious, or just plain rude than hearing the mindless chitter-chatter of your treadmill neighbor over the volume of your own headphones. This person somehow thinks it is okay to catch up with their loquacious friend about the drama of the previous weekend while walking at a snail’s pace on a gradual incline.
3. Locker Room Nudes
Do what you gotta do to change after a workout, shower, or swim lesson, but full-frontal at the locker room entrance isn’t what the majority of passers-by are hoping to catch a glimpse of while simply grabbing their bags.
Who are you really hoping to impress with that mirror selfie where you’re flexing until your veins pop and avoiding eye contact? Unless you face-planted on the treadmill, nobody wants to hear about your workout.
If the weights are heavy enough that it physically requires you to release a loud grunting sound after every rep, maybe take it down a notch. This isn’t Wimbledon.
6. Workout Barbies
If you take more than 15 minutes getting ready for a gym session—shout out to the girls flaunting fake eyelashes and skin-tight everything—you’d better be expecting the paparazzi upon your arrival.
I’m all for couples working out together to grow stronger, but straight-up PDA is unwelcome almost everywhere, especially in the weight room.
8. Bubble Invaders
This goes for machine-hoverers and that annoying spectrum of the population that chooses the treadmill immediately next to you when there is a row of at least 30 unoccupied options.
This person chooses a machine, does a set of reps, and remains firmly seated while texting and/or hair-twirling and/or doing ANYTHING but lifting weights. Machines were meant for rotations, so take a lap in between sets if the floor appears busy.
This person’s set of reps was so incredibly difficult that they couldn’t even muster the strength to gently return the weights to their resting positions. Instead, bangs and clashes of metal-on-metal resonate across the gym floor.
Whether the music is blaring loud enough through the headphones to let the entire gym know you’re listening to old-school Eminem while pumping iron, or if you’re magnifying the problem by singing along or carrying your own personal speaker around, don’t feel the need to infiltrate other’s heads with your personal taste in tunes.
There’s always a few well-known gym creepers—the older fellas that stare just a little too long at the backsides of squatters or at the women with not-supportive-enough-sports-bras on the elliptical.
This one’s always sneaking an eye at the digital display on your machine, eternally attempting to one-up your treadmill speed or weight stack amount.
All the lines are set: personal space is adjusted for and each person has an adequate view of the instructor and the mirror. And then, just as the yoga group has achieved a sense of harmony, this person shuffles in all disheveled and throws the whole aura out of whack.