I was with my friends last weekend for a catch-up date, when one of my friend, in the middle of our conversation about our relationships she said “I am actually not happy anymore, I am just staying in the relationship for my child.”
It was the most painful line I heard that day.
Saying “I’m not happy” is like saying “I’m in hell.” You’re in hell but you’re alive feeling every degree of burn, but because of shitty reasons, you’re staying there, staying burned.
I’ve already heard a lot of similar stories like this one: from friends, family, and even from me.
“I’m only staying in this marriage because I don’t want my child to grow-up without a father.”
“I’m only here because I can’t finance myself and my children.”
“I am holding on to him because I don’t think someone else will ever love me like he does.”
“I am staying because we have been together for almost a decade, I don’t know what I will do with my life without him anymore.”
These are lines and reasons that sounded like “I am dead,” “I am afraid,” and “I am not strong enough.” rather than loving and sacrificial.
Sometimes we say, “I have to sacrifice my happiness for my children.”
Sometimes we even blame ourselves for the pain, abuse, and disrespect that we get from them.
No woman should stay in a relationship that feels like a cage.
If that asshole is treating you like a piece of shit. Leave.
Be a woman who knows when to leave houses, marriages, and relationships, because it doesn’t feels like home anymore.
Be a woman who, when being called stupid, abused, and disrespected, will look at that jerk in the eyes, raise her middle finger, and leave.
Leave. Even if it means breaking your heart, because you know that hearts will naturally heal when it breaks. Be as smart as your heart.
Leave. Even if it means taking with you a crying child. Because how can you love that child if you can’t even love yourself? How will you ever stand as a mother to that child if you can’t even stand for yourself?
Leave. Because you don’t want your children to grow up witnessing their father abusing and disrespecting you. This will cause more damage than leaving now.
Leave. Because you know that no amount of shitty reasons should be enough for you not to choose freedom and happiness. The key to that cage is leaving, the key is in your hands. Just please use it and allow yourself to be free.
Leave. Because if your only staying because you’re used to having him around, that’s bullshit. You’re attached, not in-love. The only person who deserves your attachment is you. Attach yourself with your independence.
Leave. Even if it will shake your knees and core, because you know you will cry, but you will not die. It will be painful, but it will not destroy you. Because you know deep down inside your tired soul, that your happiness will be worth it.
Leave. Because you know that no matter hard it is, and no matter how uncertain things will be, everything will be fine if you set your heart to the freedom and happiness that you deserve.
We all have proven this already; the universe will always provide.
Your love for yourself will provide everything that you will need to carry on.
Be a woman who is happy because your happiness will provide you with your light.
You are strong by default, so leave unhappiness and pursue the love you deserve.