1. Lie: The babysitter canceled, sorry we can’t go out tonight.
Truth: There was never a babysitter to begin with. Getting dressed to go out after a day of work and dealing with the baby sounds like hell. We’re gonna sit in our pjs on the couch and love every minute of it.
2. Lie: Now that we have a baby, I don’t need gifts. Let’s save our money for him/her.
Truth: For the love of all things holy, you better get me a present. (Ahem, Mother’s Day is May 11th)
3. Lie: We love the toy/outfit/book you bought the baby! What a unique present!
Truth: That’s the third one we’ve received of its kind. It has already been returned and is a faint memory. What’d you give us again?
4. Lie: Can you take care of the baby? I have a headache/stomachache/anykindofache.
Truth: I’d rather lie in bed and be lazy, but can’t exactly come out and say that.
5. Lie: Of course the baby likes you! He/she is just cranky.
Truth: When you get right in his/her face, she’s bound to scream. Does this really shock you?
6. Lie: I’m going to the gym straight from here, hence the workout clothes.
Truth: baby weight+yoga pants=the only viable clothing option at this point. We’ll leave it at that.